


Core Shadow

by AscentMachine



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Drama, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Moral Dilemmas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2019-10-08 02:52:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17378222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AscentMachine/pseuds/AscentMachine
Summary: Core Shadow: A dark band where light and dark meet. Catra was going to have to face the truth one day - her loyalties were splitting.





	1. Doomed Plans

**Author's Note:**

> All I want is to give something to this amazing fandom. (: Hope you enjoy.

She’d forgotten how the Fright Zone never had a quiet night.

The Horde compound was a thrum of electrical beeps and whirrs from generators and other equipment. Adora wondered how she had ever fallen asleep in the barracks just a few short months ago. Then again, these sounds had once made her feel safe and she’d had a certain someone asleep at her feet … close by and warm …

“Where next?” Glimmer interrupted her rueful thoughts with a nudge at her side. The two of them were hiding at the top of a tower behind a viewing port. Behind them was a guard who had been knocked out and tucked away behind some crates.  

“There,” Adora whispered back, shoving thoughts of her former friend away to point. She’d been having flashbacks like this ever since the events at the First One’s Citadel. The despair of seeing Catra stomp out their friendship made her gasp wide awake in the middle of the night.  Still, when Glimmer had suggested a recon mission to investigate the Horde’s new-found powers, Adora couldn’t just say no even if that did mean running into the person presently haunting her dreams and nightmares.

Glimmer nodded and gripped her elbow to teleport. They landed on top of an empty tower at the heart of the research and development wing. This area was nestled close to the looming fortification that was Hordak’s lair, so Adora shoved Glimmer down quickly and indicated that she be careful.

Adora poked her head out from a turret to scan the length of the area when Glimmer started jabbing at her shoulder.

“Ow!” Adora whispered with a hard wince. “What?”

“It’s Catra,” the princess said to her in a hush. “She’s in there!” The mention of Catra’s name brought her heart racing in anxiety and Adora snapped her gaze in the direction of a tiny research building right in front of them. Sure enough, set hard against the light, was the shadow of a familiar set of ears and tail.

The Force Captain was waving her arms at someone, but from where they were, they couldn’t hear a word. It didn’t seem to matter, however, because soon the shadow disappeared and Catra slammed open the door.

“You just wait and see. When I get a hold of what we need, we’ll be well on our way to taking Etheria.” Catra’s voice carried. The feline let the door close behind her and stalked off past their tower and towards the barracks.  

Adora stared her down as she walked away, wondering what had happened to her former best friend.

“This is our chance! Let’s go,” Glimmer nudged her out of her thoughts again to point at the building Catra had left. But Adora’s gut was telling her to do something else.

“Let’s follow Catra,” Adora whispered back.

“What, why?” Glimmer gave her an incredulous look. The blonde warrior shook her head and her blue eyes steeled themselves in resolution.

“We can go see this building later.” She just knew they had to follow Catra. 

To her relief, Glimmer only sighed and reluctantly took Adora’s elbow to teleport. They appeared with a shock of sparks on a roof close to the Force Captain, and both peered down to observe her.

“Where’s she going?” Glimmer whispered to Adora. Catra waved aside a lone guard pair, who saluted her stiffly and then turned away to a different direction.

 “Not sure,” Adora whispered back, not taking her eyes off her former friend. They followed Catra down the compound for the next several minutes. Occasionally the feline's ears would twitch, and Adora would yank Glimmer back down behind the safety of the wall, hoping they hadn't been spotted. But nothing ever happened.

“Adora,” Glimmer whispered at her. “Let’s just go back!”

“Wait,” Adora held up a hand. Catra had slipped into a small weapons storage unit. Spare racks littered this area of the Fright Zone and the captain had waved aside all the guards. At this point, there was no one around anymore. Adora wondered what she was up to.

Glimmer’s face pulled into a slow grin, and she teleported them close to the unit, well within the shadows. They were right beside the door -  

“Shouldn’t have thrown that sword away,” Cara's grumble drifted past the doorway. Adora froze. She waited  - for what? Was she hoping to hear Catra talk more about their disastrous adventure in the First One’s Citadel? But the feline just paused and growled in frustration. The sounds of metal clicking into each other resumed and at Glimmer’s questioning wave, Adora snapped out of it. She gripped her sword, and with a swift motion, Glimmer teleported themselves into the tiny storage unit.

Right into the ends of two blaster barrels.

* * *

 

“Hey, Adora,” Catra practically purred with distaste. “And I see you brought your princess along,” She nudged the end of one blaster towards Glimmer, who froze in place with wide eyes. The purple princess had an energy ball ready and pulsing, facing straight at Catra. Adora had her sword raised. But if either of them attacked, they knew the other would be shot.

Adora could hear Bow’s reprimands already. 

“Say, if you wanted to go back to the Horde this badly, you could have just told me,” Catra’s voice dripped in false cheer, and Adora gritted her teeth. She scanned around Catra and noticed that her tail was hovering over her radio.

“We know you were responsible for the runestones, Horde soldier,” Glimmer spat. “Tell us what you did.”

Catra’s eyes flashed in deep annoyance when she turned to Glimmer.

“Well,” Catra said in a dangerously low voice. “You’d think if you want answers, you’d ask politely.” 

“Catra,” Adora finally said, and her former best friend turned her glare at her. At point blank range, the effect was shockingly more painful than Adora had anticipated. Still, she forged on. “The entire planet was affected, not just Bright –“

Catra interrupted with a short laugh. “Well thank you, _Captain Obvious_. What sort of effect did you think I was going for? Of course, I went for the planet! You still have no idea what I’m capable of.” She scoffed and Adora stared at her in shock. 

“Who are you?” Adora whispered. The pure astonishment, the loss, leaked into her voice, and she could feel Glimmer tense up as she watched them both. This was Catra in the flesh, standing just a few feet away from her, but she couldn’t believe this was the person she had been friends with since childhood. Adora _knew_ that this was Catra lashing out. It had to be.

Her former best friend stood still for a split second and in that split second Adora saw it. The twitch in her ears. The way her grip tightened on the blaster defensively. _You’re still in there_ Adora thought immediately, sureness arising from her gut.

“Well,” Catra responded with a gritted smile. “I should have asked _you_ that.”

“Catra, come with – “ Adora started frantically, but that was when Glimmer threw herself onto Adora and teleported them out onto the roof, at the same time that Catra shot her blaster into the side of the storage unit.

A second later, there was an alarm wailing, and Glimmer was teleporting them out of the compound, as Horde soldiers rushed out of the shadows, searching.

 

* * *

 

“There they are!” Bow said excitedly, his voice reverberated around the throne room of Castle Bright Moon and capturing the attention of every other Princess. They turned around in time to see Adora catch Glimmer as she fell to her knees. With a gasp, they rushed to crowd the pair.

A second later, the Queen shoved everyone aside so that she could kneel close to Glimmer.

“Glimmer,” Queen Angella cradled her face. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“No need to worry! I’m okay,” Glimmer announced with a weary wave of her arm. The other princesses sighed in relief, and Angella let out a breath.

“Moonstone. Now.” She said, leaving no room for doubt.

Once Glimmer had come back from her healing session, the Princesses rounded the two of them up for a report in their alliance meeting room. Adora avoided Glimmers eyes as they both recounted what happened – that Catra had discovered something that obviously gave her some sort of power over the runestones, and hence the planet.

“She’s dangerous,” Glimmer concluded after Adora’s tale.

“And powerful,” Queen Angela sighed. “Some of our spies in other villages overheard some Horde soldiers talking. She’s Hordak’s new second-in-command.”

“Catra’s a commander?” Adora’s eyes widened. Her chest ached. _No, she can’t be gone yet._

“I’m afraid so,” Queen Angella said. “It seems like whatever she’s doing is winning the support of the Horde despite their recent loss. They may move to strike again soon.” Adora clenched her fists tightly and ignored the look Glimmer sent her.

“Well, that’s why we’ve got each other,” Perfuma piped up. “Whatever the Horde has, it’s affecting everyone.”

Everyone murmured their agreement to this. The one good thing the attack had done was reunite all the princesses. It was either do or die at this point.

“Let’s do this tomorrow morning,” Queen Angella decided. “When we’ve had time to let these findings ruminate. Tomorrow, we’ll start our planning. The Horde isn’t going to attack now, not with what we’ve dealt with them.” No one wanted to challenge her dismissal.  

The second they were out in the hallway, Glimmer grabbed both Adora and Bow and transported them into her room.

“Woah, Glimmer,” Bow protested. “Didn’t we talk about asking for permission before -?”

“We need to talk,” Glimmer interrupted Bow, folding her arms at Adora. Adora gave a heavy sigh and sat herself down on a pillow.

“Uhh … did something happen?” Bow looked cautiously between them and sat down beside Adora.

“I think Adora needs to answer that question,” Glimmer said pointedly. Adora thought she knew what Glimmer was getting at but talking was something she had managed to avoid, and she wasn’t ready to break that streak just quite yet. Instead, she clenched her fists.

“Adora,” Glimmer sighed at her silence and sat on her other side. After a moment’s hesitation Glimmer continued. “At the battle of Bright Moon, you left to face Catra, and the rest of the army was nearly destroyed by the Horde,” At this, a wave of guilt crushed through Adora and the blonde warrior looked up at her quickly, aghast.

“I – I know that …“ Adora tried to speak, but she wasn’t sure of what to say. Glimmer’s striking purple eyes were searching hers critically.

“You’re willing to go after her and forget about the rebellion.” The princess concluded. Adora couldn’t look away from those eyes. She was like one of the Horde authorities demanding the truth from Catra.

“Look, Adora,” Glimmer’s eyes softened and she put a hand on the warrior’s elbow. “You told us a bit about what it was like in the Horde, but you never really talked about Catra all that much.” She gave a meaningful look over Adora’s shoulders to Bow. “And I mean more than the basics.”

“Okay,” Adora let out a steadying breath. “Fine.”

So Adora told them about what had happened in the First One’s Citadel.

She told them about their arguments, their memories and about asking Catra why she had helped her escape from the Horde. At that point, she looked at her wrist again, remembering the feeling of Catra’s tail flicking around her skin. There was a depth in the way Catra would communicate with touches, she tried to explain. The grip, the speed, the direction she would leave all melded together to explain what she wanted Adora to do, and she remembered feeling like Catra was wanting to _show her some affection_ and she wanted some reason behind all of what happened.

She didn’t explain that last part.

She didn’t catch the look Bow and Glimmer gave each other, either.

The warrior continued her tale right to the painful conclusion. Bow sensed the anguish rising even before she did because it was only after his arms were embracing her that she realized her vision was swimming.

“Sorry,” She muttered into his shoulder, brushing at her eyes.

“For what?” Bow asked, incredulously. “It’s okay to feel something, Adora.” He reassured her gently until Adora looked up to give him a small smile. “And besides, from what you’ve told me, it doesn’t sound like Catra’s a bad person. It sounds like her fight’s with you. She just happens to be on the wrong side of the –“

“What?” Glimmer interrupted them, and they both turned to look at her in surprise. “Wrong side?” She threw her hands up in frustration. “Look, Bow, you weren’t there today. And Adora …” She dragged a hand across her face in tiredness. “I get it. But she tried to _attack_ you today. She attacked our _castle_. If it weren’t for me, you might’ve _died_ , and where would anyone be then?” Glimmer turned her backs to them, too stressed to face them directly.

“Glimmer,” Bow started weakly.

“Catra’s _playing_ you, Adora,” Glimmer looked like it was killing her to say this, with the way she was struggling to get the words out. “And she’s enjoying it! Maybe … maybe Bow and I should go on the reconnaissance missions instead.”

“What?” Adora stood up adamantly. “But-but you need me! I know the layout of the Horde better than anyone. With how our – our last trip went they’re bound to be changing the security systems. But I know the way they work, I sneaked out that time I met you in the forest,” As much as she understood Glimmer, she _knew_ she was the right person to go on an espionage trip. Glimmer and Bow going alone would be suicidal.

“I’ve gotta agree with Adora on this one,” Bow said, looking extremely wary.

“Ugh!” Glimmer threw her hands up again in frustration. “Well, I’m sorry. Tell me this is stupid, but I feel like we’re _all_ playing right into the Horde’s hands. Catra _wanted_ us to find her. I don’t even know how she knew we were stalking her today!”

“Listen,” Bow put his hands on Glimmer’s shoulders, which seemed to immediately calm her down. “Why don’t we take a break from all this. The Horde’s going to change their security systems, sure, but maybe this is good for us.”

The two girls looked at him curiously.

“With the Horde putting more effort into their security system, they’ll lose focus on their other establishments. I say we let them think that we’re trying to spy on them when we’re working on strengthening our bases instead.”

“Wow, Bow, that’s actually … a good idea!” Glimmer smiled for the first time that night, and Adora had to admit it made good strategic sense. She ignored the twinge of disappointment in her stomach at the thought of not sneaking into the Horde base again.

They spend a few minutes drawing up preliminary plans before Glimmer grew confident enough to skip out to talk with the Queen about the plans.

Once she was out of sight, Adora pulled up her knees and wrapped her hands around them, huddled defensively. “Glimmer’s right about Catra,” she admitted before Glimmer could come back.

Bow turned to look at her gently. “Why do you say that?”

“I got distracted with her at Princess Prom,” her cheeks flushed in some unnamed emotion at this before she continued, saying, “I got distracted when we were in the Citadel, I got distracted at the battle for Bright Moon … and every time it happens, I almost die, or someone else almost dies.”

“Listen, Adora,” Bow hesitated before continuing. “When I first met you, it took a while, but I knew you weren’t a bad person. Glimmer took a lot more time to come over but she did in the end. If you and Catra grew up in the Horde together then … well, I think some part of her has to be just the same as you, right?” He said kindly. “Based on what you said, it sounds like she took you defecting _personally_. What do you think the Horde offers her?”

“Recognition?” Adora offered uneasily.

“Right … like that’s worth the same as your friendship.” Bow shrugged. “No chance. The both of you have obviously been through a lot together.”

“I don’t know, Bow,” Adora said wryly. She looked at her hands. “Though … when I saw her tonight, it did look like there was _something_ there. Like she didn’t totally hate me.”

“Right,” He smiled. “Adora, you know her better than anyone. If your gut’s telling you this,” he pointed a finger into her heart. “Then I think you should listen. None of us know her like you. If there’s anything I’ve learned about people, it’s to trust your gut.”

“But then … what do I do?”

“Well …” He trailed off rather uneasily. “I might have an idea, but Glimmer’s not going to like it, I can tell you that.”

 

* * *

 

“Security evidently needs to be improved,” Lord Hordak was pacing, for once. The dark cove of his lair was lit by two stark flames, which flickered and licked shadows along his drawn face as he walked between them. His Imp sat on his throne room looking at him with its face cocked, thoughts unreadable.

Catra folded her arms and looked up at him resolutely. “I suggest a different angle, Lord Hordak.”

“Oh?” Hordak stopped midturn, with his back to his new second-in-command. “And what would that be?”

“Let Adora meet me. She tried to convert me again to the Rebellion before they teleported away. She’s obviously still distracted by me.” The cat looked at her nails in seeming boredom.

“And what purpose would that serve?” Lord Hordak said quietly. Behind him, his Imp hopped up onto his still shoulder to peer closely at Catra.

“There’s no way that Adora is going to stop infiltrating us. She knows our security systems too well. And there’s not much we can change with the idiots in place now.” Catra knew this for a fact because she had sneaked around with Adora since they were barely able to climb walls. The Horde was so expanded that the best soldiers were on front line action across Etheria– they couldn’t afford to have them here.

“They still haven’t learned about what we’re doing with the Runestones, so she’s going to have to come back. I know they were chasing me down since I left the research wing – they didn’t go after the tech, _she_ wanted to come after _me_.” Catra gazed up to send a smirk to the Imp straight in its eyes. “I can catch her scent. Let me continue distracting her, and I can feed her whatever lies the Horde wants her to hear. She-Ra will lead the rebellion right into our hands.” _Just like what happened at the battle of Bright Moon_ , she thought, although she didn’t say that aloud.

Lord Hordak stood still as the Imp considered her, now cocking its head to the other side. Finally, he turned around and the Imp flew up away from him in an alarmed flurry. On his face, a satisfied smirk that burned with the same vigour as Catra’s flame-lit eyes.

“Draw up plans in case she brings the Princess of Bright Moon with her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to make plans when the enemy is smart.


	2. Fights

Catra was annoyed. She had scraped the walls of the Fright Zone in full view of the Whispering Woods. She had made sure that every guard she passed was talking about her. Anyone who was trying to find her knew exactly where she was.

“Is this how far back we should be?” Kyle’s loud whisper floated over to Catra’s sensitive ears and she gave an eyeroll as she strode down a bridge.

“Shut up Kyle,” There was a painful grunt from Kyle. “You’re too loud! What? I didn’t push him _that_ hard Rogelio!”

“Shut up _both_ you,” Catra stopped in place to hiss, not daring to look around. “You’re supposed to be _silent_! And stay further back!” As annoying as this was, Catra figured that Adora wouldn’t attack their old squad-mates if it came to a tousle.

She resumed walking forward and glanced down impatiently at the watch Entrapta had made her. There was still no sign of any First One’s tech nearby, apart from the remnants of the crystal currently in their research building.

Catra frowned as the radar continued to turn up empty. Adora had brought the sword last time so … _Maybe she isn’t coming back,_ she thought. This line of thinking made her growl and she spun around immediately to stomp off to the rooftops of the eastern tower.

Catra didn’t want to face her squad members once they realized Adora wasn’t coming. It was humiliating enough when Adora had left the Horde.

She leapt onto a nearby wall face and felt a little better when she heard her squadmates splutter and try to call out behind her. She was the best at climbing, and it was something she knew she could do if she wanted to run away, like right now.

With an angry growl, she pulled herself onto a ledge and leapt onto an opposing wall to clamber upwards. Adora was the only one could follow her here. It started with games of chase, innocently enough. The young human never gave up trying to follow her and eventually, through utter determination, she did.

At first, Catra hated it and stopped playing chase around her hideaways. Then she realized it was fun having someone to share her hiding spots. She’d never told her former best friend that the eastern tower was where she would go if she wanted Adora to find her.

Catra launched herself up over a beam with practiced ease and landed softly on the tower’s stone floor before padding over to the wall that gave her a view of the Whispering Woods.

This was where she had run to with Adora’s Force Captain badge. She had always meant to give it back.

A strange sense of melancholy fell over her as she placed her hands on the wall and the breeze ruffled her hair. Following her sense of nostalgia, she sat down on the edge of the wall and let her tail curl around her.

She remembered the confusing mix of hurt and jealousy that swirled in her chest that day. She remembered the way that feeling become guilt after Adora said she hoped Catra would be happy for her promotion, and how she had subsequently lied to Adora by saying –

Catra’s nose twitched sharply as a familiar scent entered the breeze.

“Catra,” a soft voice called out to her from at least several feet away. She turned around, feigning some surprise to hide the fact that her senses had already alerted her to the former Horde captain’s presence. With a flash of understanding, she realized Adora hadn’t come with the Sword of Protection.

“Well hey Adora,” the drawl was reflexive at this point. “I’m starting to think you actually do want to come back. You didn’t even bring your princess along this time.”

Her former best friend was clothed in a dark, hooded cloak with her Horde shirt underneath. Despite the way the hood was drawn, the moonlight lit enough of her face so that her blue eyes were lit in her trademark steel of resolution. Catra gave a glance around her to scan for the rebel leader but there was nothing. Her hand hovered over her belt discreetly. At least her old squadmates could radio for help if needed.

“I … didn’t come with Glimmer,” Adora took her own glance around them.

“Really. So you came alone, into enemy territory …” Catra pretended to take an informative glace at her old friend. “Without your sword. To be honest, that does sound exactly like a dumb thing you would do.” There was a small tablet hanging off Adora’s belt. Her ears twitched, wondering what this device could be, but that was an issue for later. She was hoping that she hadn’t underestimated Adora too soon.

Adora grimaced sheepishly. “I didn’t – I didn’t think you would talk to me if I did.”

“Uh … okay?” Catra frowned. _Is she being real?_

“Look, I was hoping you’d come here,” Adora started walking towards her. _She’s being real. This is actually going to be easy,_ Catra decided.

The feline laughed, dropping her defences just enough to hopefully pull Adora in. “Like always, right?” Catra gestured at where they were. It seemed that Adora took the brief lull to recall the same memory Catra had been entertaining because she saw the way Adora’s steps faltered.

“Well,” Adora offered a smile. “You don’t always make it easy but I manage to find you, when you want me to.”

_When you want me to._ The extra detail Adora tacked onto the end of that sentence echoed horribly. There were plenty of times when Catra hid away in areas of the Fright Zone where even Adora couldn’t follow. The relentless torment she faced at Shadow Weaver’s hands wasn’t something that she always wanted Adora to be privy to. It was partly protectiveness, and partly her own pride. She didn’t always want Adora to fight her battles. 

But this? Hearing her say it as if she’d always know? It was like the blonde warrior had access to her head.

Catra scoffed reflexively, needling to put some metaphorical space between them. With irritation, she turned her back on the former Horde Soldier and dug her nails into the stone wall. Who did Adora think she was? 

“Sure.” She hated how petty she sounded at that moment.

She could practically feel Adora hesitating before taking a few more steps closer to her, and her ears twitched in curiosity despite herself.

“Um … Hey,” Adora said softly. “Can we talk about what happened at the Citadel?”

Well, this wasn’t exactly where Catra was expecting or wanting this conversation to go, but she could play along if she needed to. Now she was thankful Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio weren’t around.

“What about it?” Catra said roughly. Instead of answering right away, Adora moved to lean on the wall beside her.

“After you … left,” Adora started and Catra nearly rolled her eyes right there. “This citadel’s apparition appeared and told me to let go. So I did.  And then when I woke up, it kept showing me these visions. You were there, and a couple others too.” Catra chanced a glance at the blonde beside. Although all she had was a side profile, she could see the slight frown on Adora’s face.

“It kept telling me to let go of that too. It was something about how the old She-Ra never did that and so it made her crazy,” Adora turned to look at her and gave a nervous chuckle. The gesture was so familiar, but the way she looked at Catra now, with nerves and uncertainty reflecting the light – that made it unfamiliar.

“But … I couldn’t. I don’t know if that means I’m actually bad at this,” She turned to face her hands and Catra struggled for a second with not interrupting her. _Geez, this is still all she cares about_ , Catra thought _._ “I can’t just let you go Catra. I meant what I said in the Citadel. I _do_ miss you, I –“

“UGH okay!” Catra threw her hands up in the air before she could stop herself, and spun around so that her back was facing the woods. It would have been in her better interests to kiss up to Adora but this conversation was beyond her. Adora just seemed to bring out the honest side of her in an excruciatingly difficult way.

“Just save it Adora,” She growled. It was just about what Adora wanted. It always was.

“What – ugh, what do you want from me then?” Adora stomped forward so that she was in front of Catra, forcing her to meet her eyes. “I keep telling you, I _want_ you to be there with me! I didn’t mean to leave you!”

“You made a promise!” The angry outburst made Adora take a hasty step backwards. “Nothing bad would ever happen if we stuck together, right? Remember that?”

It made Catra seethe when she saw uncertainty flash in her eyes, but it was only there briefly. “Right, I remember … that was after –“

But Catra waved aside the explanation of the context before she could continue. This conversation was already going downhill and she needed to re-center it before she got carried away.

“The promise Adora, don’t get distracted,” She grit her teeth so as not to sound as cutting as she actually meant to sound.

“I’m not breaking it Catra,” and her voice was getting soft again. The blonde took her hands, which startled Catra so much that her tail twitched.

“And you aren’t just my – “ Adora stopped suddenly. The slate at her belt was starting to glow a deep red and she dropped Catra’s hands to pick it up.

“Someone’s coming,” Adora backed away and instantly sent her a suspicious glance. _So that’s what her slate does?_ Catra peeled her eyes around them, then saw to her horror, the Imp flutter into the shadow of a shingle. It didn’t bother her that Hordak was spying on this session, although she would be embarrassed if Hordak had listened to the first half of this conversation. If Adora realized, she might never come back and this plan would flop. Unless …

“Go,” Catra hissed. “It’s the Imp that Hordak carries around,” That would save her own skin.

Adora gritted her teeth and glanced around again, clearly searching for a way to hide and looking torn about whether to trust Catra.

“Go!” Catra shoved her to the edge of the tower.

“But – “ Adora looked at her.

“We’ll talk – later,” Catra said. “This tower, two days.” And just before she shoved Adora off to the edge again, she saw a look of surprise and hope cross her eyes. The blonde nodded and leapt over the edge of this familiar tower. Catra glanced back to make sure that Adora was scaling down and was well out of earshot.

Once she saw the figure dart past the empty zone into the woods, she leaned on the edge of the wall casually and waited until the Imp started flying around her.

“She had a sensor. It told her you were close by.” Catra said in a bored voice when it approached.

The Imp just looked moderately disappointed before shrugging and flying back to its master. If it was suspicious of her, Catra didn’t know.

She turned and looked over the edge of the wall for a long time.

 

* * *

When Catra slammed the door open to the research wing later that night, Scorpia looked at her in worry.

“Are you okay?” Scorpia leaned in to examine her closely and the feline nearly groaned. “You look upset. Did you meet up with She-Ra?”

“Yes, yes.” Catra slipped out from under her and walked towards the Black Garnet, irritated. “It was as annoying as usual. But at least she’s coming back.”

“What did you two talk about?” Scorpia inquired, following her over beside the Black Garnet. Entrapta had dozed off in front of it and Catras eyes softened a little at the sight. Here was another princess that had been abandoned, just like her. And now, since leaving, Entrapta was reaching her full potential. Catra felt an odd surge of pride at the thought.

“We argued,” Catra relented. “She tried apologizing. It didn’t work.”

“Huh,” Scorpia considered this. “What did she apologize for?”

“Just… stuff between us.”

“Ohh.” Scorpia didn’t speak for a moment as Catra looked at the reports that Entrapta had left her.

“So… you guys used to be close right?”

“Scorpia,“ Catra said with a warning voice, not bothering to look up from the papers. The other woman held her hands up defensively.

“Hey, hey, just wondering. It’s kind of strange that She-Ra gets so distracted with you around, “

“Yep, she’s easy to push,” Catra smirked.

“What happened between the both of you?” And Catra was about to tell Scorpia to just leave her alone but the completely innocent look in her eyes stopped her. There was just something about Scorpia’s sweetness that was so genuine and different from everything in the Horde. Kind of like Adora had been.  

Catra sighed. “We used to be best friends. But Shadow Weaver always played her as the favourite. I could never measure up. Remember when Shadow Weaver was obsessed with getting Adora back? “

Scorpia nodded.

“I tried to save Adora from the rebels because she’s was my friend. Turned out that she’d just left me for a magical weapon and the rebellion.”

Scorpia frowned at this, so Catra continued.

“Adora’s done nothing but think about herself. I pretended I didn’t care about all the crap Shadow Weaver put me through to keep her happy and what did I get in return? Betrayal.” Catra said darkly.

“Man, that sounds rough,” Scorpia said sympathetically. “What was her apology?”

Catra scoffed. “Well, she said she was never gonna let us go, and I’m pretty sure she was about to ask me to defect with her.”

“Shoot,” Scorpia shook her head. “She really wants you with her.”

Catra hadn’t expected that response. She’d expected Scorpia to agree with her on how dumb going to the Rebellion would be.

Later, when she was trying to get some rest in her bed where when the thoughts started to appear. The crooked loneliness of the night, now that she had her own room. She thought about Adora, how she missed when things were easy.

She thought about how frustrating it was to so easily loose her cool whenever Adora was around.

_“What – Ugh, what you want from me?”_

Catra wouldn’t normally give anyone a second glance if they annoyed her. But Adora … she sought her out for … something. It was like a constant itch. None of her scratches against the blonde was ever really enough to tear out that itch.

How were they going to do anything but argue if Catra couldn’t answer that question?

If she was going to do this, she might have to find an answer.

_“You’re not just my-”_ She wished she could have heard the rest of that sentence. What was she to Adora, really?

With a huff she spun around in the sheets and tried to fall asleep.

 

* * *

 

“Hmm,” Bow frowned at her. “She’s mad about you breaking a promise to take care of each other? Yeah okay, this definitely sounds personal.”

“I don’t know if she’s ever going to really listen to me,” Adora sighed, suddenly tired. They were in her room. Bow had popped in at the dead of night to come discuss, away from Glimmer. Adora hadn’t expected such brash sneakiness from him. “Whenever I talk to her, she just gets more angry.”

Bow stood up and started pacing, deep in thought. “Okay. We know that she’s taking it personally with you leaving the Horde. _But_ she still wants to meet you. So …” Bow spun around and snapped his fingers. “I got it. How do the two of you usually fight?”

Adora tipped her head to the side. “Fight?"

“Yeah! Like, with Glimmer and I,” Bow scratched his head in embarrassment. “We were both pretty mad at each other for what happened during Princess Prom.”

“You mean being kidnapped?” Adora asked quizzically.

“No, no – I mean how I went with Perfuma as her plus one. We got pretty mad at each other. But just after you left to the citadel, we spoke about how we both felt and things got a lot better after that. “

Adora smiled at this. Her two friends honestly had the most stable friendship she had ever seen.

“So we do still fight between each other. But,” And Bow put a hand on her shoulder. “We both know it’s not the end of world when it happens. No matter what, I’m still going to be Glimmer’s friend.”

“So, what are you saying?” Adora asked with a rather hopeful expression.

“That you need to know how to fight with Catra. Have you had any arguments with her before?”

Hmmm. Yep, Adora could name quite a few times in which they’d argued before. The last instance was when she got promoted to Force Captain but Catra hadn’t seemed _that_ angry with her, not in light of recent events.

“Something just feels… different this time.” Adora looked at the carpet, eyes downcast.

“It does sound like she’s not ready for an apology,” Bow shrugged rather helplessly. “What do you two usually do to sort out a fight, apart from that?“

The gears started spinning in Adora’s mind at that last question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What could make it easier to fight?


	3. Unexpected Conversations

The moon was bright that night, taking the spotlight away from the other planets. Catra padded back and forth at the eastern tower, wondering if it would cast some light on her recent discussions.

_“So, She-Ra has a device that ensures you must be alone with her.” Lord Hordak’s tone was neutral, his face was stoic._

_“Yes, Lord Hordak. If you still want me to speak with her, I will.” Catra bowed her head. A part of her hoped Lord Hordak would say no._

_“Look at me, my second-in-command.”_

_Catra looked up, into Lord Hordak’s empty eyes. He leaned closer, and the Imp flapped towards her until it was gong round her head in circles. She didn’t break his gaze, but she felt fear drop into her chest. Her brow creased._

_“Very well. Be at ease, Commander,” Lord Hordak leaned back into his throne thoughtfully. The Imp circled her once more and landed on the arm of his throne. “ I did not mean to question your loyalty when I sent Imp after you last night, but I must protect my soldiers, especially against She-Ra.” He stroked the Imp’s head and it nuzzled against his hand._

_“Report to me on the morning after your meetings. That will suffice.”_

She was good at parsing out manipulation, that was how she had managed to survive against Shadow Weaver for so long. She had even seen Lord Hordak use such talents against senior Horde members.

So, she knew, in her gut, that the conversation hadn’t been a ploy against her.

“Hey.” A soft voice interrupted her thoughts and she turned around to come face to face with Adora again, who was in the same outfit as before.

“Hey Adora,” Catra smirked instinctively. “And what do you want this time?”

Adora held up a set of keys, grinning wickedly. “Let’s get out of here first.”

“What’s that?” Catra narrowed her eyes suspiciously at dangling keys. No way.

“It’s for a rebel skiff.” The blonde moved past her to hop onto the wall and raised her eyebrows up at Catra in challenge. “So are you joining me or what?” This was crazy. Adora wanted her to sneak out?

“Uh, not unless you tell me where we’re going first,” Catra folded her arms. “For all I know this could be a trap.”

“Ha, please. I could have gotten you when your back was turned a minute ago. Now will you just come with me?”

A part of her detested the familiarity in which Adora was treating her, but it was such a jarring change from their usual arguments that Catra paused. Her eyes narrowed at the blonde.

“Look Catra, I’m not up to anything.” Adora raised her hands up and gave her a plaintive look. A second was all it took to decide that Adora was telling the truth. Unlike Lord Hordak, Adora was much easier to read.

“Fine,” Catra grumbled. Adora’s face broke into a grin and she led them down the tower and into the edge of the woods where her skiff was hidden.

“Okay, what are we doing?” The commander asked when they were afloat and zooming through the treetops. The rebel skiffs must have been magically enhanced, because she didn’t remember any Horde fliers being able to sail so high. She glanced around them, on alert for anything suspicious but there was indeed no one else except them up here.

“Nothing really.” Adora shrugged self consciously. “We haven’t really been fighting any monsters together for a while so I was … hoping we could take some on in the woods, maybe?”

Catra gave her a slow blink. Well, that was certainly easier than talking.

“Sure. Why not,” Catra shrugged. Adora turned to give her a brief smile and then went back to her controls. They spent the rest of their ride in silence.

She would be lying if she said it didn’t hurt to see such an easy smile on Adora’s face. This was never going to last.

“There!” Adora pointed at a meadow below them and Catra peered over the edge of the skiff to see a gigantic spider stomping around the grass.

Ador landed the skiff in the depth of the trees nearby. The two of them exited and made their way cautiously towards the large monster. When they were close, Adora hid behind a tree trunk and took out a longbow. Catra moved to situated herself up in the branches and waited to see what Adora would do.

A part of her wondered if she was helping the Rebels in their restoration efforts.

Adora let loose an arrow and Catra took that moment to land on the spider. They had fought simulations like these before, so the attack was easy.

Several arrows and close calls later, they had won. The spider didn’t really have a chance.

They gazed at the shrivelled body of the spider as the moon shone down on it, both in a rush from the battle. It had brought forth memories of simulator training and they didn’t dare look at each other, choosing to use the time to settle their breathing and their racing hearts instead.

“Nothing stops us,” Adora eventually said and wiped her brow.

“Guess not,” Catra breathed deeply. She sat down on the grass and gazed into the moonlit eyes of the spider.

Adora sat beside her, careful to leave some space between them.

“So, why’d you leave behind a princess?” Catra asked, not looking away from the spider. She didn’t want to go back to discussing their friendship. This topic, at least, was something that interested her.

“What do you mean?” She felt her former friend glance at her.

“Oh come on Adora. Entrapta? She was waiting for you lot to rescue her. Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten.”

“What!?“ Adora’s surprise caused Catra to snap her gaze towards the blonde and hiss in surprise. ”She’s still alive?! We thought… we thought she died! The others said she was vaporized.”

Catra raised an eyebrow. “Vaporized.”

“Yes vaporized! If we knew she was still alive we would have come back to get her,” Adora glared. “Let her go!”

Catra’s tail flicked in irritation. You didn’t come back to get me. “You know,” she hissed. “Entrapta’s been doing just fine at the Horde. I’m not sure she wants to go back.”

“Catra, “Adora growled and stood up, as though ready to fight. Of course, the calm between them was never meant to last that long. “What did you do?”

“Wha -? What did _I_ do?” Catra leapt to her feet and shoved the warrior, sending her sprawling back onto the grass. “I took her in! She’s so much happier at the Horde, now that she can do whatever she wants!”

Adora got back to her elbows, and Catra could see her thinking hard. The two glared at each other for a long moment, both struggling not to make the situation worse. “Ok,” Adora said slowly, though her frown hadn’t dissipated. “Fine. But tell her that we never abandoned her.”

“Like you did to me?” Catra said bitterly. She turned her gaze towards the ground, irritated with herself again for the way she sounded.

There was a terrible silence at that. She wished she could hurl and rage into the quiet between them but her duty to Hordak kept her still, waiting.

“Would you believe me if I said I would have gone back to get you?” The warrior's voice was soft again.

Catra didn’t respond. She didn’t want to look at her, she was too afraid to see the truth - whatever it was. Not knowing was easier, she could live with that. So she continued to look down at the ground, powerless. She grit her teeth and gripped her hands so tightly that her nails almost drew blood.

“Could I… touch your ears?” Adora asked hesitantly.

Catra turned to her and hissed, making Adora drop her hand. There was a strange look in Adora’s eyes. Disappointment mixed with… longing? It made Catra’s stomach clench, and she tore forcefully tore her gaze away.

What was this? She hadn’t felt anything like that since before Adora left. Her heart raced, this time in apprehension. They sat for a while in awkward silence, until eventually, Adora got up. “I guess we should head back, then.”

They flew back to the edge of the border at the Fright Zone. Feeling like she ought to do something to ensure their meetings continued, Catra flicked her tail against Adora’s chest, catching her attention.

“Same place, same time, in two days?” she muttered, not looking at Adora’s face.

“Oh uh, yeah,” Adora said hopefully. Catra nodded and walked back to the Fright Zone without a glance backwards.

 

* * *

 

“Entrapta’s alive?! “

Adora tried her best to hush Bow as they worked on restoration efforts in the Whispering Woods. Glimmer and several others were further out, fortunately, either moving fallen trees or digging new path between the rebel camps. She glanced around to make sure that none of the others had heard Bow.

“Keep it down!” Adora said before finally releasing her hands from his mouth. He pulled himself away, unbothered from her admonitions.

“Adora, what do we do? We have to tell Glimmer, but she’s gonna kill us if she founds out what we’re doing!”

“I don’t think there’s anything we can do,” Adora said with a helpless shrug. “I mean, Catra said she’s much happier in the Horde.”

“Uh, the _Evil_ Horde.” Bow threw his hands up in the air. “We can’t just let her work with the enemy! We have to do something!”

“I know, I know, but maybe - maybe when this whole thing blows over, we can get her back?” she offered.

The two of them fell silent. What could they do if their friend had defected to the Horde? Not much. Adora was starting to understand why Catra kept going off about Adora leaving her behind. It sucked.

“Look, Catra clearly manipulated her into staying with the Horde,“ Bow decided. “I don’t think Entrapta would have betrayed us that easily.”

“Well, Catra did think we abandoned Entrapta to Horde.” She tried not to sound too defensive. “Besides we can’t just go on a rescue mission, not without telling Glimmer.”

The two of them glanced towards Glimmer, who was standing in a huddle with Perfuma and debating how to lay the new path on the road. Both princesses, especially Perfuma, had taken Entrapta’s death hard. Feeling guilty, they went back to hacking away their log.

“So… how’re you feeling about Catra now?” Bow eventually asked.

“I don’t know.” Adora said honestly, and she leaned on her axe to think. “She asked to meet me again so … maybe, that’s something?”

“Sure,” Bow stopped chopping and wiped his brow. He took a breath and continued. “It’s just this thing with Entrapta. I feel like Catra’s blaming you for all her problems. She’s gotta take some responsibility too.” Adora didn’t answer but let that thought ruminate as she resumed chopping the tree.

Bow had a point. She had always felt like she was responsible for Catra, what with how Shadow Weaver acted. She hadn’t considered that maybe, perhaps, that instinct was clouded.

They worked for the next half hour in silence, when Glimmer came to join them. The princess had grime all over her gear but didn’t seem to be bothered by it. So long as she was doing productive work, it was worth it.

“You guys doing okay?” she asked them both. The two of them gave an awkward laugh and tried their hardest to brush off Glimmer’s innocent inquiry, but this didn’t get very far. Glimmer only seemed to get more concerned the more they laughed uneasily.

“Okay … I think you two need to a take a break,“ Glimmer raised an eyebrow at them. “Before you start getting all weird on me.”

They sat down for a bite to eat, avoiding Glimmers gaze. Then Glimmer finally sighed and stood up glare down at them with her hands on her hips.

“Alright, out with it. Why are you two acting so weird?” she demanded.

“What? Weird? Us? What do you -?” Sweat was dripping down Bow’s forehead, but before Glimmer do anything more than narrow her purple eyes, there was a sudden crash nearby, like a fallen tree. The sound of moving tanks then reached their ears.

“The Horde!” Glimmer spun around to the source of the noise quickly. “Quick! Defensive formation everyone!”

Adora ran forwards and pulled the Sword of Protection from her back. With a flash of light she was She-Ra, eyes flashing.

“We heard something!” Perfuma had appeared, with a couple other Bright Moon soldiers. The flower princess looked dazed, clearly having spent her energy on restoring the forest.

“It’s the Horde!” Bow hissed at them, then notched an arrow onto his bow towards the direction of the crash, waiting.

Sure enough, tanks started rolling into the scene. She-Ra didn’t pause before charging forwards but once the tank drivers spotted her, they all hastily abandoned ship, leaping out of the tanks in fear.

She destroyed the closest tanks by slicing off their sides, going for the empty ones first. It was a small squadron, but she felt She-Ra’s power surge with outrage at the sight of them carelessly destroying the forest. When she was done and all that lay before were broken, smoky tanks.

Her azure blue eyes flickered and lost their spiritual glow as she gazed at the fearful soldiers running away from her. They were young.

“What was that?” Glimmer teleported beside her, just as She-Ra flickered back into Adora.

“I don’t think they were looking for us,” Adora was a bit dazed. It hit her that she could have been one of the soldiers in that tank. “It seemed like an accident.”

“Well, accident or not, It seems like the Horde is trying to set up a new camp closer to Bright Moon,” Glimmer concluded. “Could have been nice if we captured one …”

“We should watch for more scouting parties,” Bow walked up beside them and secured his weapon around his shoulders.

The interruption, luckily, had completely erased Glimmer’s concerns with them earlier, but Adora felt like there was a new problem they was going to have to face.

When they walked back to the castle, Adora glanced back at the torn tanks. The Horde was a well oiled machine, even if their army had taken a huge hit in the last battle. And they knew where Bright Moon was so what were they doing in this patch of the Whispering Woods? In tanks?

The Horde was looking for something.

 

* * *

 

“So …” Lord Hordak tapped his fingers thoughtfully upon his throne. His Imp sat on his shoulder comfortably, and the flames flickered to illuminate his sunken face. “She-Ra took you hunting. And that was all?”

“That was it.”

“Why do you suppose she did that?”

“She probably wanted us to do something together, before asking me to defect to the rebellion.” Catra folded her arms and glared at the stony ground. “With all due respect, Lord Hordak, I don’t know if this is a good idea anymore. I’m not getting any intelligence on the Rebels, and I’m exhausted whenever I come back.” Arguing with Adora was a lot more emotionally jarring than she had expected. She’d gone straight to bed last night without visiting Scorpia and Entrapta and then she couldn’t get to sleep, not without waking up in the middle of dreams that haunted her with Adora’s look of disappointment and whatever it really was. It made her feel guilty.

Catra wanted out. She didn’t want to fix this epic mess.

Lord Hordak laughed, startling the feline. She’d never heard Lord Hordak laugh in this fashion - genuine. Nothing like Shadow Weaver’s laugh.

“Do not think I misunderstand, Commander. You’ve told me your story. I too, was betrayed once. My disciple, the closest to a child I have ever had, banished me from Eternia to rule over it himself.” He gestured at the wall, and a starry image appeared, with what looked like planets in the foreground. Catra had never been a scholar, and as such only vaguely remembered this image from one of the Horde’s books.

“Eternia is what houses Castle Grayskull,” Lord Hordak told her, and Catra’s eyes widened. For the honour of Grayskull! The memory of Adora’s shout echoed. “Conquering that world was my ultimate aim, my mission.”

“You can imagine the pain and betrayal I faced when I was so close to my goal, only to be banished here.” Lord Hordak continued. “But I use that feeling to fuel the march onwards. One day, we will get to Eternia, and sit on the throne of Castle Grayskull. I detest the thought of speaking to a traitor, lest my affections return to hurt me again. But do I let my fears stop me?”

“My dear second-in-command, I have seen you prove your capabilities and grow into a warrior. You are not her shadow, unlike what Shadow Weaver has taught you. But your actions? They reflect this. Everything you’ve done has been only to oppose She-Ra. What is it that you truly want?” Lord Hordak leaned back into his chair and touched the tips of his fingers together.

Catra couldn’t meet his gaze. He knew she was running away from her demons.

“I … don’t know,” She admitted, looking at the ground. Glory? Recognition? Those seemed like weak things to say in front of Lord Hordak. Lord Hordak had visions of conquest.

He had a purpose beyond himself, she thought.

“I know you will not betray me, Catra.” Lord Hordak’s use of her name finally got her to look up at him again. “You yourself offered to stop these meetings with an old friend who wants you to defect to the Rebellion. But to be my true second in command, you must know yourself as a true warrior must. I let my officers’ race towards their desires, because I have learned lessons from my first failed disciple. So, continue to speak with She-Ra.”

Catra’s ears twitched.

“Get her to lead you towards the First One’s Citadel, so that your work can continue. And think about an answer to my question while you’re at it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The leaders are always more perceptive than you'd want.


	4. Thaymore

“Catra!” When the door opened, Scorpia practically leapt from her spot beside Entrapta and forgot all about how she wasn’t supposed to pick up the feline. “Where have you been? We were starting to worry!”

Once Scorpia finally settled her down after a bone-crushing hug, Catra leapt back with a hiss and stomped off self-consciously.

“I had meetings with Lord Hordak,” She evaded Scorpia’s gaze. She’d actually been avoiding the two of them, not really wanting to address what Adora had told her about Entrapta.

Entrapta appeared around a pile of spare parts wildly, brandishing a tiny device around with her hair. “Did you get me a new assistant yet? Oh! And did you show him the portal I made?”

Progress had truly halted after the three of them were unable to restore the Black Garnet. They needed more First One’s tech to restore the runestone so in the meantime the scientist was busying herself with odd little projects, often recruiting one of Catra’s old squad-mates to help when her robots malfunctioned.

“Eh. You can keep Kyle if you want.”

Entrapta cheered and continued whirling around like a tiny tornado and Scorpia clapped her pincers cheerfully. Catra rolled her eyes at the sight but a reluctant smile still peeked through. It was nice seeing cheer in her little team …

 _“Everything you’ve done has only been to oppose She-Ra. What do_ you _want?”_ Hordak’s voice echoed in her head.

Her smile faded.

She honestly wanted to walk out of here and forget what Adora had ever told her about Entrapta. Maybe the princesses had never really abandoned Entrapta, but it didn’t change the fact that this was what Adora had done to _her_. Besides, she didn’t want the rebels to have Entrapta on their side.

But if she held her silence, would that be her reason? To win against Adora?

It was always about Adora.

“I wonder how her hair does that,” Scorpia chuckled beside her. The feline looked up just in time to see Entrapta pull out scraps from the pile using her mane. Stuff for Kyle to do, evidently. She just looked so happy …

“Adora said the other princesses thought you died. That’s why they never came back.”

What she said lingered in the air, freezing Entrapta in place.

Only Scorpia moved, looking between them both in confusion.

“The other princesses thought I died?”

Catra ran a hand along her arm nervously. “Apparently they came back to look for you but they thought that you … I dunno, got vaporized.”

“Oh.”

“So, they didn’t abandon you,” Catra’s voice dropped and her heart thudded. She didn’t really know why but she knew this was what she had to do. It was what she would have wanted in Entrapta’s place. Was this what Lord Hordak meant earlier?

“And what did you say to her?” Entrapta finally turned her head, slowly. Her purple eyes were wide, confused. She felt a tiny pang in her chest at the sight because that look was all too familiar, far too easy for her to empathize with.

“Well,” Catra steeled herself. “ _I_ told her I wasn’t sure you’d wanna come back, with all the fun you’re having now.” She shrugged, out of defensive reflex.

“Okay, no offence to your former best friend,” Scorpia piped in, to which Catra rolled her eyes. “But how do we know we can trust her?”

“It explains a lot of their behaviour,” Entrapta muttered to herself, hair moving wildly. “Perhaps the old hypothesis is wrong.”

“Look, I … don’t think Adora was lying,” Catra said grudgingly.

“Well in that case,” Scorpia strode forward to pick up Entrapta and hold her up. “What do you want to do, Entrapta? Hey, you’d always have a home with us!”

“You want me to stay?” Entrapta tilted her head.

“Of course!” Scorpia smiled. “Super Pal Trio, amirite? Why wouldn’t I want you around? Without you, we wouldn’t be here. Besides, we can’t be a Super Pal Trio with just two people, heh.”

“With a human servant,” Catra couldn’t resist pointing this out.

There was a moment of silence while Entrapta thought, and the Catra’s tail flicked around haphazardly, getting more nervous as time went on. Finally, Entrapta looked up at the Force Captain.

“Access to high tech infrastructure, the opportunity to work with runestones, friends who actually ask me about my theories … I’ll stay here,” Entrapta smiled at Scorpia. Catra couldn’t help but crack a relieved grin as the two of them returned to celebrating.

She felt glad she had said something.

 

* * *

 

She met Adora at the Eastern tower that night. The blonde wanted to go hunting again, which Catra had no trouble agreeing to. It was easier to calm her mind after wringing herself through battle motions.

After defeating a few large worms beside a small stream, they sat down on a nearby log and watched the water flow quietly past them. The moonlight illuminated the water, made it sparkle.

“So … did you pass my message on to Entrapta?” Adora probed carefully.

“Yep,” Catra shrugged. “I told her you idiots didn’t know she was alive. She decided she wanted to stay with the Horde anyway.”

“She did?” Adora was clearly surprised.

“Yep. I mean, I did tell you.” Catra smirked a little bit. Adora didn’t say anything for a while, and Catra waited out the silence. She knew Adora was dying to speak further.

“How do I know I can trust you?” Adora finally mused. “For all I know, you could be lying to me about everything.”

Funny. That was what Scorpia had thought Adora was doing and Catra had stood up for her.

“You _really_ don’t give me any credit. You should know that I at least keep my word, Adora.” Her voice was a lot calmer than she felt, but she was looking at a calm stream and not Adora’s face. _Practice makes perfect_ the Horde commander thought bitterly.

“Like you did at Princess Prom?” There was anger dripping into Adora’s challenge, and it took Catra by surprise.

“Hey, I didn’t lie to you about what I was doing at Princess Prom,” She glanced at Adora and saw her former friend glare.

“Ohhhhh haha okay,” The maniacal laughter caused Catra to raise her eyebrows. “Sure. And what about when you _abandoned_ me to _die_ at the Citadel?”

“Like I said, I wasn’t exactly surprised when you showed up alive and breathing.” Catra shrugged. “Didja really expect to fall to your death in a temple that was _built_ for you?”

“I - Ugh – for heaven’s sake Catra,” Adora threw her hands in the air. “ _You’re_ the one who declared our friendship was over, and yet  - here we are!”

“ _I’m_ the one –?” Catra launched to her feet, irritated beyond measure. “ _You’re_ the one who left _me_ for a bunch of strangers!”

“I heard you the first time, and the second, and the fiftieth,” The blonde ticked off, throwing her hands in the air at the last count. “And I’ve apologized for that! So  - so what else do you want me to do? Why are we still hanging around each other? I mean,” She laughed darkly. “If you’re trying to get intelligence for the Horde, I’m not dumb enough to give it all away. But I mean, I can’t – I can’t even trust you right now, so what’s the point?”

Adora was standing up now, facing Catra like she was ready to fight. Her voice had escalated, and Catra knew she was edging into fury because she was starting to stutter.

They stared at each other for a long moment in the following silence, glaring at each other. Both their fingers twitched as though to grab onto weapons and from how fast Catra’s heart was racing, she certainly felt like she was in a battle.

If she was being honest, the fear in her racing heart wasn’t because she might fail her mission.

“I want to know …. why you left the Horde.” Sheer instinct landed Catra on this gritted response. And yet, after the words left her mouth, she knew this was it.

Adora didn’t stray her gaze from Catra for a long while. Her eyes were steel blue in the moonlight, as hard and determined as She-Ra’s, despite the colour being all off. It made Catra’s heart pound a little harder in her chest to see that look. She had no idea what her former friend was going to do next.

She really was losing control over this project. 

“Alright,” Adora conceded slowly, her piercing eyes still on Catra. “I’ll show you.” And she turned to walk towards the rebel Skiff. Catra blinked, then followed her silently.

Adora drove the skiff over the Whispering Woods. The moonlight was bright enough to let Catra’s sharp eyes see the trees stretch, far into the horizons and she wondered briefly what it would be like to fly far away from here. Fly far from her problems.

Her old friend finally brought them down and indicated that Catra follow her on foot. For a while they walked among the fallen branches – it was clear that this area of the forest had been hit earlier – until they reached a clearing.

Broken bits of Horde tanks lay strewn along the large meadow. Among them were rather colourful banners and other bits of pieces of wooden furniture. They mingled together, looking entirely out of place with each other.

Catra followed Adora out into the middle of the clearing and gazed around. She nearly crashed into Adora when the human abruptly stopped in front of her, but her reflexes were fast enough to let her side-step the blonde.

“When I looked for the Sword, I ran into some Rebels along the way. Bow and Glimmer. You’ve met them.”

“Uh huh ...”

“Long story short, they ended up capturing me after they saw me turn into She-Ra.” Adora continued looking ahead of them, at a wrecked lump of unimpressive benches. “They took me to Thaymore.” And Catra realized where they were.

“The rebels were weren’t what the Horde said they were like. Everything Bow and Glimmer said was true. They were just peaceful towns. I couldn't believe that the Horde was capable of destroying something like that until … the Horde came here.”

“And it wasn’t you, Catra,” Adora gripped her arm so that Catra was forced to look at her. “I know you were only trying to save me. But the Horde  - the Horde _knows_ that a town like Thaymore is peaceful. They’d destroy it anyway, and pillage whatever it has if that’s what they need.”

“Before they brought me here, I didn’t really know what was beyond the Fright Zone,” she admitted and slid her grasp slowly down Catra’s arm to lace into her hand. The fuzz on the feline’s arm buzzed at the familiar touch.

“I wish I could’ve figured that out earlier,” Adora offered her a plaintive smile, after seeing that Catra wasn’t pulling away. “I know you think I’m dumb for not doing so, but I really didn’t think we were the _Evil_ Horde. I’ve just always wanted to make things better for everyone, and I believed Shadow Weaver when she said being Force Captain was how I could do it.”

“It didn’t mean I cared about you any less,” She started idly stroking a thumb across the back of Catra’s hand, and the feline’s heart jumped in surprise. “I figured out all of this just _minutes_ before you found me. And then when I saw you, I couldn’t understand why you didn’t want to leave the Horde with me.” She gave an embarrassed chuckle.

“I do wonder though. Why _didn’t_ you want to leave?” Adora asked her. “With the way Shadow Weaver treated you?”

Catra swallowed.

 _What do_ you _want?_ Hordak’s question just couldn’t seem to leave her head. _Saving the world,_ that would be Adora’s response and it would have satisfied him to silence. Adora and Lord Hordak weren’t all that different. They were single-minded in their goals. It was just the way they were.

And Catra couldn’t even deny it anymore. She was looking right at Adora’s inquisitive face, knowing that her old friend was saying the truth.

To Adora, the matter of leaving was never about her, Catra. And no matter how much Catra hated knowing that she wasn’t a deciding factor, she also knew that leaving the Horde was what Adora just needed to do.

She couldn’t hate her like this.

She opened to her mouth to respond _no,_ the matter of leaving had once been simple. The day she had shredded up Adora’s bunk, she’d been thinking of defecting. She’d even shoved that idea into Shadow Weaver’s face.

But that feeling of abandonment was always there, haunting her like Shadow Weaver would. The only reason she had to disbelieve Shadow Weaver’s taunts about how worthless she was … was Lord Hordak saying she wasn’t. And soon after him was Scorpia, and Entrapta.

And now, _again,_ Adora?

“Hey,” Adora’s voice dipped low, and the human girl was brushing at her face. “Catra …”

_Great, tears._

The feline yanked herself from Adora’s grasp, hissing angrily. She wanted to scratch and claw at something, rage against a monster. Was this what Lord Hordak wanted her to face?

She wanted to be in this war to prove her worth, and yet she couldn’t just do it in peace because she cared far too much about the people on either side of it. God, why did she have to care about them? Why was it that they were the only happy things in her life?

They were supposed to be killing each other.

She walked away from Adora and brushed her tears with the back of her hand herself. Crying was the only feline instinct she hated having.  

She gave a tiny yelp when Adora collided with her and wrapped her arms around Catra’s waist.

“Stop … leaving, like that,” Adora muttered into Catra’s shoulder. The contact made her heart jerk a little again. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

Instead of answering, Catra decided to brush her tail along the other’s shin in reassurance and Adora sighed in relief. The blonde clenched her arms around her a little tighter and Catra smiled despite herself.

“Yeah,” Catra’s voice was a lot hoarser than she expected, and she didn’t dare try to elaborate.

They stayed like that for a while and eventually, Adora slackened her grip. “Can I  - can I touch your ears?” she asked.

“Pfft,” Catra struggled to stop a laugh, grateful for the change in topic. “Sure wierdo.” She didn’t have the heart to say no.

From where they were standing, she couldn’t see the way Adora’s gaze softened, but she could feel how the human kept her close with one hand while the other moved slowly to the top of her head. As if she was afraid Catra would run away at a sudden movement.

She wasn’t exactly ready for the rush of pleasant nostalgia at her touch, though. She could remember a time when she would curl up amongst the blankets and Adora would do this idly, neither thinking much of it at all … 

After a minute, Catra’s tense shoulders loosened and she tilted her head back with closing eyes, pleased by the sensation.

Adora leaned into her ear, a grin apparent in her voice when she whispered. “You’re purring,”

“Ugh, if you’re going to be _annoying_ ,” Catra swatted her hand and pulled out of her grasp before the blonde could stop her. Leave it to Adora to ruin the moment. She was grateful for the grey light of the moon so that the blonde couldn’t see how much it had affected her.

“Okay! Okay. Sorry,” Adora said quickly. “It’s just – I just – I just missed that,” She admitted awkwardly, not sure what to do with her hands. Something about the shy look in her eyes and that nerdy stutter of hers made Catra’s ears twitch, and she flicked her tail back and forth before finally relenting.

She grabbed Adora’s wrist and stomped off with her in tow until she found a tree they could lean on. When she was settled down with her back to Adora, she nudged the blonde towards resuming.

Purring was okay, even if Adora was obviously far too pleased she was doing that.

But she simply ignored the feeling of her heart pounding when Adora placed an arm around her waist again to pull her closer. She ignored the way the fur on her neck stood up when Adora leaned her forehead against the back of her head, so that the human’s breath ruffled through her mane.  

Nope, that was most definitively a problem for future Catra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It ALL started at Thaymore.


	5. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's been leaving kudos/reading/commenting/lurking (: hope you enjoy this one.

“And then you parted ways,” Lord Hordak leaned back into his deep throne and the shadows crept over his body. He observed her carefully, as though he was playing a board game and she was a piece he needed to move.   

Catra’s eyes flashed from him to the sleeping Imp in his lap, heart racing. Last night’s problems were still on Future Catra’s plate for a reason.

“Hmmm …” Lord Hordak rubbed the Imp’s head thoughtfully. “Tell me, Commander, what do you feel towards She-Ra?”

“Feel?” Catra’s gaze snapped back up to him. “Uh, what-”

“You seem conflicted.” Lord Hordak interrupted. She felt her stomach rise in her chest, as though she was about to fall off a cliff again.

But then she remembered that she had dealt with Shadow Weaver because she was strongest when cornered, and she reached out to grasp that thought like it was the only thing saving her from a long fall. The commander bowed slightly, then lifted her head to bring her gaze precisely to the center of his forehead.

“I’ve thought about what you’ve told me, Lord Hordak.” Her voice was steady. “But I still need time to understand what happened in my last conversation with She-Ra.”

Lord Hordak’s forehead creased and it was the only point on his body where his agitation was apparent, for he was as still as a statue after that. The crackling of the torch flames filled the empty space after her words, buzzed loudly in her ears. Finally, he said quietly, “I have the power to order our troops to do whatever I please.”

Catra blinked, not understanding. Her heartbeat thudded - was this a threat? But his eyes weren’t burning holes into her like they would when he needed to discipline bad captains. He was still watching her carefully, considering her.

“Dismissed.” Hordak closed his eyes.

It took her a moment to recognize she was supposed to leave. Once she did, the commander relented and bowed once more, turned to walk away. When she was nearly at the door, he spoke again.

“Catra.”

The use of her name made Catra halt. She turned her head slightly to listen.

“You’re afraid. The strong are afraid, too, but they are never alone. You could be strong, you know.”

She spun around, mouth opened to say … what? But she was saved from having to think of a response because he’d rested his cheek upon his knuckle, eyes still closed. His Imp had nuzzled under his other hand. The flames dimmed and left him blanketed in shadows.  

 

* * *

 

She was definitely setting a record today. Thanks to Entrapta’s latest modifications on her watch, she knew she’d already walked five miles and if she wanted to beat her record of eight by midday  -   

The metallic clanging on her door made her freeze mid-stride for the first time in hours.

“Uh Catra? You in there?” Scorpia. Before, Catra would have groaned aloud and tried to duck under a chair, but now she merely let out a breath of defeat.

She’d come back from her debrief to pace … and pace. Trying to understand Lord Hordak was like to understand one of Entrapta’s calculations. Things didn’t add up, weren’t decipherable.  

She opened the door and came face to face with a steaming silver platter piled high with a stack of treats alongside a glass of milk. The warm scent hit her nose immediately and made her reel back in a sudden wave of nostalgia.

“Hey Catra! I made some cookies.” Scorpia peeked around the treats and flashed her a grin.

Scorpia said something else about getting Lord Hordak to eat them but Catra had already tuned out. She blinked, mouth gaping a little.

_Catra glanced around her warily as she slunk down the walls of the green-lit hallway. She grasped a tiny bag of treats close to her hunched chest and she kept attention to any strange noises around her. If anyone spotted her, she would be in Really Big Trouble._

_When she got to their barracks, she peeked her head around the edge of the entranceway. Once she saw who was inside, she grinned wickedly. Bingo._

_As expected on their day off, Adora was lounging around in her bed with a book on field tactics. She’d been obsessed with that tome for the last couple weeks, ever since Shadow Weaver had given it to her. Completely absorbed by the material, her face scrunched up when she turned a page._

_Catra slipped in, clambered up the nearest bunk, and leapt from bed to bed towards Adora. Once she was close enough, she leapt down and landed silently on her feet._

_“Hey Adora.”_

_Adora screamed and dropped the book, turning to her with a terrified expression. Immediately fearing that someone would hear her, Catra pounced on the blonde and clamped a hand over her mouth._

_“Shhh!!! Geez, Adora!” Catra glanced towards the entrance, her ears flattening and her nose on high alert for anyone coming in. Okay, so maybe that wasn’t her brightest idea._

_“Mhmh,” Adora grumbled but didn’t make a move to throw Catra off, not yet. When Catra was satisfied that no one was coming, she moved off the blonde and sat down beside her._

_“Don’t do that! I was reading.” Adora glared and folded her arms. Her face was still a little pink from being taken off guard._

_“Psh! You read too much, that’s why you even got scared!” Catra stuck her tongue out at her. “Forget the book, look at what I found!”_

_Catra tossed her little treasure bag onto Adora’s lap with satisfaction. When Adora’s curious gaze turned from the sack back to Catra, the feline gestured for her to open it. So she loosened its drawstring and reached in with a tiny hand._

_“What’s this?” Adora held up a brown, crumbling piece of whatever it was._

_“I don’t know, but it tastes amazing! I found it in one of the far-side kitchens,” Catra said proudly._

_“Hey, you stole!” Adora looked scandalized._

_“Ughhh whatever, just take a bite already!” And instead of waiting for Adora to do it herself, she took the treat from Adora’s hand and shoved it into her mouth. She even moved Adora’s jaws so that she was forced to chew._

_“Mhhmhppmh!!” Adora glared daggers at her, but then her face slowly dissolved into surprise. Catra leaned back, satisfied, and watched with pleasure as Adora swallowed and gave her an incredulous look. Without saying anything, the blonde up-ended the little sack and tossed all the remaining treats into her mouth._

_“Wha – hey don’t eat it all!” Catra snatched at the tiny bag, but it was already far too late. She landed across Adora’s legs, holding an empty sack. Catra looked at it in amazement, then groaned and flopped her head on the thin mattress._

_When she picked herself up to sit again, she saw that Adora’s face was still stuffed to the brim with treats and she was covered in crumbs. She was frozen in guilt, as though waiting for permission from Catra to swallow._

_“Oh whatever.” Catra waved a hand. “It was for you anyway.” Actually, the young feline had wanted to share, but she didn’t want to make Adora feel bad – she would_ never _stop apologizing. Besides, maybe it was a little nice knowing she liked it so much. She’d never seen Adora look that easily excited before, that was for sure._

_The young human swallowed and then wiped her mouth. Her face bore a shy smile._

_“You brought that just for me?” Her eyes were alight._

_“I mean, duh. I wasn’t gonna keep it all myself, unlike you,” Catra grinned toothily and elbowed her. Adora shoved her hands away, laughing. When they relaxed again, Adora scooted closer._

_“That the best thing I’ve ever eaten,” Adora admitted._

_“Ever?” Catra’s tail perked up._

_“Ever,” Adora nodded gravely._

_“Well,” Catra stretched out as nonchalantly as she could. “I guess it’s okay if you ate everything, then.”_

_Adora seemed to battle with herself for a while before she spoke. “Hey, can I scratch your ears again?”_

_“You’re not gonna read your dumb book?” Catra pointed at the forgotten title by their feet, but her tail curled up hopefully. Well,_ this _would make up for Adora taking all the treats._

_“I can do both.” Adora stuck up her chest determinedly._

_Catra rolled her eyes but took one final glance around their empty barracks. They didn’t know if it was allowed, no matter how innocent it was. When she was satisfied that they were still alone, she curled up so that she could rest her head on Adora’s stomach. Eventually, Adora got her position right so that she could read, too. Hearing the quiet flicker of the pages lulled Catra’s eyes closed and her troubles faded to the background when Adora –_

“Commander Catra, this is Force Captain Scorpia. Do you hear me? Over.” Scorpia’s radio voice impression finally made Catra blink out of the memory.

“I stole these … cookies,” Catra blurted out.

“Wait, seriously?” Scorpia stared at her for a second, and then her face split into a grin. “Oh my god, you stole my cookies? I can’t believe you think I’m that good!”

Catra turned to walk into her room and groaned into her hands. If she kept thinking about that tiny detail of her trip down memory lane, she could ignore why her memory had walked forwards in … other directions.

“Hey, you can have this whole platter if you want. I made it for you,” Scorpia walked in after Catra, placing it down onto her tiny table. She turned around and saw that Scorpia was smiling at her, and Catra remembered how pleased she’d been to see Adora like them.

The commander went to sit in front of the platter and gave a thoughtful chew to the cookie, as Scorpia called it. _She swiped a handful of the tiny treats into a small pouch she had stolen from the kitchen drawer. Adora had to try this, she just knew the human would love it._

“Not bad,” Catra said quietly. “You’re the best in the Fright Zone, Scorpia.”

“Awww shucks,” Scorpia rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. “You know, Entrapta told me she could provide some ‘modifications’ but to be honest I’m a little scared to let her try. I mean, she’s good at working with tech, but food? I feel like that’d be dangerous.”

Catra didn’t answer. She stared at a half-eaten cookie.

“Catra?” Scorpia probed gently. “You should take it with the milk. Lord Hordak made sure I tacked that along.” At her words, Catra glanced up.

“Did Lord Hordak send you here?”

“Huh?”

“Did he tell you to come here? With these?” Catra gestured at the pile of treats. She suddenly realized how odd this situation was. Sure, they had treats when they were younger. Shadow Weaver used to give Adora an extra apple, or a bunch of grapes. Anything sweet was a treat in their books.

But these things were too much. It was obvious to her that something that tasty wasn’t good for soldiers. She had never found cookies again since that day, no matter how hard she’d searched down the Fright Zone.

“Lord Hordak just told me to bring a glass of milk if I wanted to give you the rest of what he didn’t eat,” Scorpia chuckled. “I’ll admit I haven’t made cookies in years but … I figured you might like them.”

“Wait  - you don’t even have a kitchen.” Catra pointed out.

“Of course I have a kitchen, silly! How else do you think I made this much?” Scorpia gestured at the platter.

“Wait, what?” Catra’s voice hitched in surprise. “You have a kitchen? Why would Lord Hordak give you a kitchen?” Only the kitchen staff were allowed in kitchens. Even senior staff didn’t dare step foot inside those sterile walls, not unless they wanted to be sliced by an angry machine or worse, an angry chef.

“Well, he knew I was a good fighter and really wanted me to join his army. I told him I just had to have a kitchen if I did. He tried telling me about how that would never work but guess what convinced him?”

“What?” Catra gaped.

“A cookie dunked in milk,” Scorpia winked. “He probably wanted you to try it as well.” Catra turned her gaze to the gleaming, untouched glass of milk, her fur on edge.

“Ugh, fine, you’ve all gone crazy,” she muttered and reached for another cookie.

“Well?” Scorpia asked eagerly after she had swallowed.

“It was … good,” Catra said suspiciously. She felt like she had missed the point, somehow. Was this another one of Lord Hordak’s cryptic lessons? What was he plotting?

“Listen Catra, are you sure you’re okay?” Scorpia looked concerned. “Ever since you went to steal that piece of First One’s tech for Entrapta, you’ve been … strange. Not all the time! But sometimes you look like you’re … thoughtful. Like right now.”

Catra took an uneasy glance around her room, but there were no rafters for the Imp to hide in here. The walls were completely sealed, polished and unassuming.

“The … meeting with Hordak didn’t go too great,” She finally admitted her most pressing concern with a sigh and looked down at her hands.

“Oh. What happened?” Gentle curiosity laced Scorpia’s voice.

Catra took a deep breath. She was once again falling off a cliff, except that there was no reassuring thought, no experience, to stop her from falling this time. She could only hope that there would be something to catch her instead.

“Scorpia, will you keep a secret?” Catra said in a whisper. She slid down her flat couch towards her Force Captain so that she could lean in to her.

“Woah secret?” Scorpia immediately dropped her head down to Catra’s level with barely restrained excitement. “Uh, hell yeah!”

“I mean you can’t tell _anyone_ ,” Catra felt her heart pounding. _Rip it off like a band-aid_ she thought wildly.

“Catra, you have my word to not tell a single soul,” Scorpia crossed her pincers over her chest. “Now what is it?”

“I think I’m in love with Adora,” She said rapid-fire before her nerve left her.

 

* * *

 

… Had she passed out or something? For how still everything was in her room, time might as well have frozen. She certainly wouldn’t know the difference.

Finally, Scorpia blinked.

“Ha!” She jabbed her pincer into the air. “I knew it! I knew those vibes were romantic. Damn, I really wish I could tell Entrapta, she’d totally make some device so that you two could see each other.”

Catra’s jaw slackened. “Vibes? Uh, what vibes?” Her heart was still beating at a mile a minute and seeing Scorpia so unsurprised at her news was disorienting.

“I mean, duh, Princess Prom? Adora didn’t have to follow you around but she sure as hell decided to. Pretty sure it was because you rocked your outfit,” She tapped a pincer against her chin thoughtfully. “And wasn’t she holding on to you when you both fell off that cliff? Oh plus, there’s the fact that she’s trying really hard to get you back right now. Oh! Waaaait does that mean you were making her jealous by going as my plus one at Prom?” Scorpia asked her excitedly.

“O… kay!” Catra dragged a hand across her face, trying to will away the blood rush suddenly hitting her face. “Scorpia, I was talking about … about my feelings, not hers. I have no idea how she feels. For all I know, she sees me as a sib.” The last thing Catra needed was to jump on board Scorpia’s thought train. She didn’t think she’d ever be ready for _that_ joyride.

“Hmm.” Scorpia’s eyebrows wiggled back and forth, as though she was arguing with herself and she was finding reasonable arguments on both sides.

“How am I supposed to deal with this?” Catra waved her hand in front of the Force Captain’s face, trying to drag the conversation back in the direction she needed it to go.

“Well I see your problem,” Scorpia focused back on her with a sympathetic look in her eyes. Oddly enough, Catra didn’t mind seeing that expression on the Scorpia’s face as much as she’d thought. She kind of felt relieved someone understood.

“I mean, you’re both still on opposite sides of the war,” Scorpia said.

Catra didn’t say anything. She just looked at her hands. It was strange hearing someone else say it like she knew she was doomed.

“Is that what happened with Lord Hordak?” Scorpia whispered. “Did he find out?”

“I don’t know,” Catra looked up at her. For the first time, she was lost and seeking answers in the Force Captain. “He asked me what I felt towards She-Ra. I didn’t think it through at that point so I made up an excuse, and then he dismissed me.” She stood up to pace again, gesturing wildly as she spoke. “Then, right before I left, he said that I was ‘afraid’ and that the strong were ‘afraid but aren’t alone’ and that I could be strong if I wanted. What does that even mean?”

Scorpia looked dumbfounded. “Honestly Catra, I couldn’t tell you. But when I saw him today, he looked just as thoughtful as you did just now.”

Catra didn’t understand. Shadow Weaver had never given her any special attention. Then again, Shadow Weaver didn’t really have a good reason to give it to Adora. So … could it be that Lord Hordak was to her, what Shadow Weaver had been to Adora? No Lord Hordak was fair, he wasn’t like Shadow Weaver. He treated all his captains with the same level of discipline. 

She felt shame creep up in her chest. Did Lord Hordak … just simply trust her?

“Maybe he wants you to open up,” Scorpia said slowly, deep in thought. “When he says that the ‘strong’ aren’t alone. Although,” She paused to tap her chin. “You did open up to me just now. Do you feel stronger?”

“Uh, no.”

“Hmm, maybe you need to open up more.”

“No, what kind of  -” Catra growled and huffed. She didn’t know if putting a name on her true feelings was giving her control or she was just unleashing more trouble, but she knew that Lord Hordak wasn’t allowing her to run from her problems and she couldn’t do that without naming things. Deep down she didn’t want to disappoint him.

They Horde had taught them about emotions, and how to use it for war. Friendship was meant to spur forth loyalty and trust in squad units, hence why they fought simulations together. Hatred was channelled to give them superior strength far beyond their ordinary capabilities.  

But she had never felt so strongly for anyone before. The affection that would settle deep into her chest when Adora was close to her, the pain when her friend betrayed her. Shadow Weaver couldn’t even inspire this much passion in her. So she decided there was only one word to describe this.

It was one of the strongest emotions the Horde talked about. It was allowed, but sometimes led to dangerous outcomes for soldiers, they were taught. Some would sacrifice themselves irrationally on the battlefield, and so the Horde tended to discourage feeling this way, even while reassuring cadets that they should make feelings like that known to the senior captains.

Catra used to scoff at those lessons. Clearly, the Horde just wanted to know who to keep tabs on, or so she thought. Adora had always disagreed with her.

Did Lord Hordak think opening up about it was going to make her stronger? She didn’t understand how that could be  - she wasn’t supposed to feel this way towards the enemy. That had never been in the lessons.

“Could I ask you a question?” Scorpia raised a pincer and interrupted her thoughts. “Have you always felt this way towards her?”

“I don’t know,” She muttered, truthfully. “Things just … changed when she left.”

“Yeah okay. I just really wanted to know what that dance at Prom was about.”

“Hey, I didn’t set out to _seduce_ her,” Catra rolled her eyes. Still, she smirked a little bit.

“Maybe, but you totally could have,” Scorpia nudged her again, giving her a perky grin.

“Wha  - oh knock it off,” Catra shoved her back. But Scorpia only laughed, and it made the feline laugh too because she knew Scorpia was just being ridiculous now. When they stopped, Catra realized it was the first time she had laughed with anyone but Adora. She felt lighter, in a way the cookies hadn’t done for her. 

“Do you think you could convince her to join us again?” Scorpia tilted her head.

“Nope,” Catra gazed off into the distance. “She’s not coming back to the _Evil_ Horde.”

“But it’s a killer name, right?” Scorpia chuckled.

“It doesn’t bother you that we’re evil?” Catra raised an eyebrow at her. She’d always wondered about that - Scorpia never quite seemed to be Horde material. She wondered what had made Lord Hordak want to bring her in so badly.

“Catra, I know you and I know Lord Hordak. The both you are aren’t that evil, so how could the Horde be evil? I mean, you both ate my cookies.” Scorpia pointed out. “One person’s evil is just another person’s good.”

“So no one wins,” Catra said aloud. She didn’t have the heart to point out that the Horde had pillaged villages simply to restock on resources. She didn’t want to talk to Scorpia about the way the Horde forced captured towns to supply their armies with food until they became highly efficient gears whose sole purpose was to turn the wheels of their war.

“Uhuh.”

“We’re just going to keep fighting until we die.” Catra’s focus centred on this new thought. Her gaze slipped out of focus as she considered …

“Wait a minute.” Scorpia stood up. Catra watched in curiosity as the Force Captain’s eyes suddenly lit up.  

“Catra, you need to see something.” The scorpion lady grabbed Catra, who sighed and let her carry her down the length of the Fright Zone.

 

* * *

 

“The Horde isn’t moving closer to Bright Moon,” Adora declared that night.

The three of them were huddled in Adora’s room after Glimmer had cheerfully suggested that they have a sleepover. Under the dimness of Glimmer’s sparkling ball of light, Adora placed a tank figurine down on the make-shift map of the Whispering Wood that Bow had made for her. Lingering thoughts of Catra and her soft purring … had been banished to the back of her mind.

“They’re moving around the Whispering Woods,” Adora looked up. “I’m telling you, they’re looking for something.”

“Looking for what?” Bow raised an eyebrow, still unconvinced.

“Look, I read a book on this once,” Adora raised a hand, not taking her eyes off the map. “This isn’t how they’d move if they were going to attack a base.”

“You know, maybe you were both right earlier,” Glimmer rubbed a hand on her arm awkwardly. “About sneaking into the Fright Zone.”

Adora and Bow turned to her.

“We still don’t know what the Horde _did_ to make the weather go all weird, and sure, we’ve been able to restore the forest a lot faster, but now they’re … doing something weird and we have no idea what it is!” Glimmer gestured at the tank figurines.

“We need to sneak back into the Horde.” She sent Bow a determined glance. “We need to find out what it is that Catra’s got planned.” She turned her gaze to Adora, who met it with wariness. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough before, Adora, I _know_ you’re not going to let the rebellion fall. You left the Horde to _help_ us. I should have remembered that.” Glimmer sighed.

Bow and Adora shared an uneasy glance. Then Bow turned resolute and turned to face Glimmer directly. 

“Glimmer,” Bow dropped his eyes. “There’s something you have to know.”

 

* * *

 

_“YOU WHAT?”_

Queen Angella stirred in her sleep irritably. If the so-called “best-friend squad” was up to something unpleasant, she hoped she would only have to deal with it once the war was over.

Wouldn’t that be nice for once!

_“SHE’S WHAT?”_

Queen Angella sighed, eyes still closed. Glimmer was fast on track towards waking up the entire castle at this rate, but she was far too tired to get up and inquire about what was going on. Perhaps she should deal with them tomorrow.

When there was no further shouting from Glimmer, her frown loosened, and she fell into slumber again.

 

* * *

 

“So let me get this straight,” Glimmer spoke in a deadly slow voice, her eyes down blazing as she stood towering over the two of them. “You’ve been seeing Catra for the last week and a half, Entrapta’s _alive_ and apparently _part of the Horde_ … and you’re telling me this _now_?”

“Glimmer –“

“Do you have any idea how much danger you put yourself in!?” Glimmer threw her hands up in frustration.  “How much you’ve endangered the rebellion!?”

“I  -“

“And you kept it from me!?” Glimmer sparkling energy ball flared up angrily above them. Adora shrunk back fearfully, but Bow ignored this and stepped up closer to her.

“Listen, don’t blame Adora. It was my idea to begin with,” The taller boy placed his hands on Glimmer’s shoulders and tried to get her to face him. “I’m sorry Glimmer, I knew you wouldn’t approve. I just had this feeling about Catra. I mean – how better to get rid of the Horde than by taking it apart from the inside? If anyone has a chance at pulling her over to our side, it’s Adora.” He sought her eyes, but she was shrugging away from him.

“Some friend you promised to be,” Glimmer muttered.

“Bow’s right,” Adora said quickly when she saw Bow’s hurt expression. “I’ve been getting through to her. All I need is some more – “

“You’re supposed to be the one who’s always preaching about trust, Bow! I don’t get why I’m the exception to that rule!”

“Look, I’m sorry!” He implored. “I knew you wouldn’t go through with the idea, and I knew that if we told you, we wouldn’t have found anything out!”

“Like what? That you’ve been going behind my back!?”

“It’s not that, it’s –“

“Catra!” Adora leapt to her feet. “She  - she let me pet her ears last time. I think I’ve been getting through to … her ….” The blonde warrior trailed off when she saw that both her friends now wore shocked expressions.

“What?” Adora asked them defensively.

“She let you pet her ears?” Bow and Glimmer asked together, equally incredulous.

“Oh, haha, yeah,” Adora laughed and waved a hand, trying to look casual. “We used to do that sometimes when we were younger. And um … she started purring too, so, uh, yeah.” Something about the expression on their faces was making her feel self-conscious about this. See, this was why the two of them had only ever done stuff like that when they were alone.

“Okay …?” Glimmer’s purple eyes met Bow’s in faint confusion before going back to squint at Adora. “So you’re saying you’re friends again?”

“I’m not … sure,” Adora admitted, shoulders hunching. “I do know she’s listening to me again. It was different from last time, at the First One’s Citadel.”

Glimmer looked at her in disbelief, so Adora continued. “Listen Glimmer, I know you only remember her from last time but I’ve known Catra my whole life. I know I’m getting through to her.”

“Ugh, alright, fine,” Glimmer rubbed her forehead. “Let’s say that you are. What about figuring out what’s going on with the weather? I mean, clearly, the Horde was controlling _something_. And Catra’s part of that.”

Adora avoided her look, choosing instead to sit back down and gaze at her map.

“I know,” She muttered at last.

“Did you ever find out what got her promoted as Hordak’s second in command?” Glimmer sat down beside her. “While both of you were talking?”

“I … didn’t,” Adora couldn’t face Glimmer.

“Adora, it has to be about why the Runestones went crazy. You know it does,” Glimmer said gently. She placed a hand on her shoulder, but even that didn’t make the warrior stir. “

It was like what Glimmer was saying was shining a light in her memory, putting the pieces together to form a picture she hadn’t wanted to see. Despite all that happened, Adora felt like she still didn’t have concrete answers about what was going on with Catra. The events at the Citadel still haunted her a little, made her fearful that Catra would turn around and realize that she  -

Wait. The Citadel.

Why had Catra even been there in the first place?

Adora closed her eyes. It suddenly made sense to her. The movement of the Horde tanks, the disturbance in the weather, what had probably happened with the Runestones if Catra was responsible.

“Catra took something from the Citadel. A piece of First One’s tech. She - she said we shouldn’t have left Entrapta behind. Entrapta knows how to work with tech.”

There was silence in Adora’s room. She could feel her friends' breathing halt as they followed through on the same thought. Bow sunk to his knees beside them.

“Adora.” Glimmer finally broke the silence with the smallest waver in her voice. “She's still fighting for the Horde.”

She could hear Glimmer’s silent question underneath. _How can you still trust her?_  

“Glimmer’s right,” Bow finally spoke up, and Adora looked up to see him taking a deep breath. “But … you know her best, Adora. And you need to do what you think is best. Oh - common Glimmer! We thought Adora was evil when we met her, but she was just doing what the Horde taught her to do. Catra’s probably having it a lot worse.”

“I can’t believe this,” Glimmer muttered.

Adora didn’t say anything for a while, thinking. Catra had changed – or perhaps it was just their relationship that had changed. In either case, she wondered if Glimmer was right and everything, even last night, had been a lie. Her hands clenched into a tight fist at that last thought. It couldn’t have been, right?

“Look the only reason I say that is because well, I mean, is fake purring even possible?” Bow scratched his head and Glimmer shrugged.

“She would never – “ The blonde halted her protest when Glimmer turned to her with a raised eyebrow. She cleared her throat, then met the other’s purple gaze with resolution in her own eyes.

“I’m going to find out what happened the next time I see her.”

There was nothing Glimmer could say to dissuade her from this crazy plan after that because there was one thought she knew she could cling to, one that she knew was true.

The Horde needed the Citadel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonder how that'll turn out?


	6. The Last Turn

“Here we are,” Scorpia said once they reached the door to their research building. The Force captain kneeled to let Catra slide off her shoulder. 

“Finally,” Catra muttered and patted down her frazzled mane. She didn’t want to think about how many soldiers had seen Scorpia carrying her down the Fright Zone.

Scorpia knocked on the metallic door. There was a pause, and then all they heard was an endless series of locks clicking. Catra raised an eyebrow at her Force Captain.

“Entrapta said she didn’t want an outsider coming in,” Scorpia shrugged helplessly. 

The door was finally thrown open to reveal their frazzled engineer, equipped with a welding mask and tool kit. “Catra! You’re just in time for the experiment!”

She grabbed the feline with her hair and yanked her inside, dragging a spluttering Catra along behind her.

When Entrapta finally let her hair slip from the feline’s body, Catra coughed and got up on her elbows. She was about to let loose a flurry of expletives, but what she saw made her gape and lose her train of thought.

In front of the two of them was a large glass tank, large enough to house an average-sized human in.  She knew this because Kyle was currently that human. Rogelio knelt near him with his hands splayed forlornly along on the glass.

“Catra, you’re just in time to witness the world’s very first vanishing machine at work!” Entrapta had stars in her eyes.

“Ugh, aren’t you supposed to be off with Adora or whatever?” A voice made Catra turn to her other side just in time to see Lonnie roll her eyes. Her old squad-mate was operating a large computer monitor. Wait, when did Lonnie learn to operate Entrapta’s computers?

“Uh, what is this?” Catra gave her head a shake and turned to Entrapta. “I thought Kyle was supposed to be your assistant, not this lackwit.” She gestured at Lonnie.

“He is, duh.” Lonnie shot back. Rogelio turned sharply to Lonnie, before pointing at Kyle and gesturing in the air. And … did he have tears in his eyes?

Catra narrowed her eyes dangerously after Rogelio finished. She got to her feet slowly. “Really. Then what’s Kyle doing in there?”

“Kyle will be the first non-magic human to _vanish!_ ” Entrapta brought her hands together and sighed. Rogelio stood up and stomped his foot, causing the mess of spare parts on the ground to shake. Catra didn’t need him to sign to understand what he meant.

“Oh,” Catra let the sarcasm drip as she leaned on Entrapta’s shoulder. “And did you think about how you would make him, I dunno … _reappear_?”

“Relax, Catra. He’ll be just fine.” Lonnie sighed as she adjusted several levers. “If you were actually around us instead of Adora all the time, you’d know that we already did this experiment.”

“Uh, on a grape?” This was what Rogelio had _just_ signed.

“Actually, I think Entrapta tried it on several grapes,” Scorpia said helpfully from behind them. “Oh! And we managed to find an entire fruit bowl last time. It did taste a little weird when we got it back but could just be me.”

“Have you tried it on something alive before?” Catra threw her hands up in the air. _They’re giving_ food _the power of teleportation? What are we, the Horde’s food delivery service?_

“Well, we did try it on a mouse – “

“What!?” Catra shrieked impulsively, her fur buzzing at the very mention of the creature. When she heard Lonnie collapse into laughter, she finally came back to herself. After smoothing down the fur on her arms hastily, she stomped over to the girl. “Shut up!”

Catra spun back to jab her finger into Entrapta’s chest. “You! Stop this experiment! I am not losing someone on my squadron!”

“But –“

“Look.” Catra forced her voice down. “Look at Kyle,” she turned the princess by the shoulders so that she could face the sleeping boy. Rogelio stood beside him, eyes beseeching and still slightly red.

“Oh … Okay,” Entrapta’s face drooped a little. “But could I test it on more fruit bowls?”

Catra hesitated for a second. “Put this on hold. I want a report.”

“You’re putting _this_ on hold?” Lonnie went over to yank the feline back by the shoulder. “But you know what the Horde could use with this!”

“Look at them,” Catra hissed, pointing at Rogelio and Kyle. Lonnie did what she asked despite her scowl. She had to look at them for longer than Entrapta, but then a strange look crossed her face. She looked back at Catra.

“That’s what you think they are?” Lonnie asked her, an eyebrow raised.

“What?” Catra frowned. Lonnie blinked, then rolled her eyes and pulled away from Catra’s grasp. The gesture made Catra blink after her. 

“Wow, nevermind. You still didn’t explain why you’re giving up on a weapon like this.”

“Lonnie, Lonnie, Lonnie.” Catra shook her head. “Those scouting tanks ran that ran into She-Ra the other day. Do you know what happened to them? They got split in half by _her sword_.” She folded her arms. “We’re not getting anywhere against the Rebellion like we are today, especially with that idiotic new allegiance they’ve got. If we want to survive, we need to focus on our tanks. We’ll start on this later, obviously.” Entrapta perked up at this.

Lonnie could only squint at what Catra said because she had never read tactical books like Adora had. She operated as a pure assault weapon – hitting hard and not giving a damn about defensive structure. Finally, she relented and turned to the computer station with a scoff. Going up against Hordak’s second clearly wasn’t on the girl’s mind, to Catra’s relief.

There was a hiss, and the glass slid down along the tank frame. Rogelio sighed and picked Kyle up. He gave the rest of them a protective glare before stomping off to the corner with the boy in his arms. His scolding look lost its strength when they all saw Kyle drooling on his arms, but his intent was clear. _Leave us alone._

Catra looked at him for a second longer, wondering. Rogelio had always been like this to Kyle. But … what if …  

Scorpia clapped her pincers and it made Catra tear her gaze away.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt everyone’s chill pill, but Catra and I came here for a reason.” She pulled out a large metallic box the size of a table. “She’s never seen one of these things. Entrapta, could you maybe …?”

“Oh!” Entrapta’s eyes lit up again. Entrapta disappeared to a corner of the lab, leaving the other three alone.

“First you stop building a weapon, now you want to see puppets. Unbelievable,” Lonnie grumbled beneath her breath and took a seat on the bench that Scorpia offered her. Catra didn’t know what Lonnie meant but sat on Scorpia’s other side regardless.

When Entrapta reappeared, the lights dimmed in the room and Catra looked up suspiciously. She was starting to think she needed to do daily inspections if she wanted to keep up with what was going on in here. And the mess wasn’t even the start of the issue.

“Entrapta can do some really cool voices with her audio recorder,” Scorpia whispered excitedly into Catra’s ear. “Just watch!”

Entrapta dropped a box on the floor and selected a few items using her hair. Once she was satisfied, she attached some speakers along the side of the box frame and dove behind the other side.

A second later, her hair popped up in the hole, forming the shape of a muscular body wielded a scrap-metal sword. “I am He-Man! For the honour of Grayskull!”

“I am Skeletor! I will conquer your castle and make it my own!” A new figure popped up on the other side but the voice was higher pitched and scrappy.

“Not if I stop you first!”

He-Man and Skeletor battled. Again. And Again. The scenarios would change over time, but they had the same flavour. Catra thought back to the conversation she’d had with Scorpia earlier, about endless war. She supposed it was a perfect re-enactment of what was happening.

But she wondered why Scorpia wanted her to see it so badly. Hodak’s cryptic lessons were coming back because it was the hope of some new thought hitting her that made her sit through at least twenty more of such “episodes”.

“Ohh, do that one where he’s doing the poison thingy!”

And on and on it droned.

When she found herself nearly dozing off, she decided she had depleted her patience levels. “Okay enough!”  The second stood up, the lights faded back in.

Entrapta’s hair-creatures faltered and pouted at her.

“This is just the same story over and over again,” Catra said defensively. “How do you expect …” Then she paused. “Wait. I get it now.”

“I know right?” Scorpia said cheerfully. “I call it the wheel of fate.”

“I can make it a lot cooler with a green screen!” Entrapta leaned out the side of the puppet stage. “It can do special effects!”

“A wheel … that keeps on turning,” Catra’s eyes were losing focus. She glanced at Rogelio. He had placed Kyle’s head upon his lap and draped a blanket over him. Protected. Easy.

“I need a walk.” Catra averted her eyes. She headed towards the door. “Don’t wait up,” she said before leaving.

The door swung shut behind Hordak’s second.

After a moment of silence, Lonnie finally spoke. “So … what did you say about a green screen?”

“Special effects?”

“Yeah do that!”

 

* * *

 

Adora was on a mission.

She steered the Skiff in the cloudy darkness. It was harder to control when it was dark, but she didn’t want to lend control to Catra just yet. She still didn’t know why Catra was agreeing to meet her, and there was that issue of the runestones. She really couldn’t deny it anymore.

Adora turned to glance over at her old friend, but the feline’s face was impassive and sunken in one palm as she looked out the side of the Skiff. Her hair ruffled in the breeze.

Catra was oddly thoughtful, and Adora didn’t know if it was because of what happened last time or if it was something else.

She landed the Skiff at another meadow, where a duo of spiders was digging a hole in the ground. Despite the cloud cover affecting her vision, working with Catra was as easy as usual. Years of simulations had taken care of that.

She let the spiders chase after her while Catra landed scratches from behind. It was a familiar ploy by the two of them and it played to each others’ strengths. She stayed in the line of fire, and Catra leapt among shadows.

Attacking a common enemy was an easy rhythm for them to fall into. It was what they’d been trained to do their whole lives.

The problem was that they were supposed to be enemies now.

They both sensed a weakness in the monsters at the same time and landing finishing blows together. The two spiders curled up, dead and defeated, left them panting for breath.

Catra flicked the goo off her claws. “Why do you want to fight these things so bad anyway?” the feline looked repulsed enough to start clawing at a tree.

“They attack some of the villagers in the other rebel camps,” Adora explained. She wiped her brow and secured her spear on her back.

“Knew you just wanted help,” Catra rolled her eyes.

“And I like fighting with you,” Adora admitted. “It’s … kind of like old times, right?”

Catra turned away, but Adora could see the way she stiffened slightly even in the clouded moonlight. Her tail flicked back and forth slowly.

Adora couldn’t help but smile. Sometimes she’d wonder if Catra was aware of her tells, but there was never any reason to believe that. Her tail and her ears moved as though they had a mind of their own. Over the years Adora learnt to how to use them to tell her about how Catra was feeling.

Catra was nervous. Thinking.

“Hey,” Adora walked up close enough to put a hand on the other’s shoulder. When she did, Catra spun around and they were suddenly face to face.

“I’ve got something to tell you,” Catra blurted. They stared at each other.

When the silence stretched on, Adora blinked. “What is it?”

“I …” Catra’s ears and her tail sagged. “It’s nothing. Let’s just go back.” Her voice was utterly defeated when she made to shove past the human.

Adora gripped Catra’s arm and stopped her. She knew how Catra got when she came back from one of Shadow Weaver’s punishments. This was a little … different, though. Not knowing what it was in light of their allegiances made Adora’s heart race a little.

“Catra, wait,” The human turned Catra gently towards her. She put her hands on both of Catra’s furry shoulders, but the feline duly avoided her gaze. “You can tell me anything, remember?”

“Can’t tell you about the Horde,” Catra muttered.

“Right, there’s that,” She felt her heart leap a little at that. Did Catra want to tell her about the Horde? It was obviously troubling her, though. The human felt her protective instinct kick in a little, despite herself.

“Come on, you’ve got to tell me now.” She decided to try probing lightly. When Catra continued to frown at the ground, Adora’s face softened. Her ears were flickering, listening. Seeing this, the human bit her tongue and came to a decision. She brought a hand up to Catra’s ear.

Catra didn’t move away. Her ear flickered lightly against Adora’s hand.

Gaining confidence, Adora pulled her into an embrace so that Catra’s chin was on her shoulder. She smiled when she felt Catra start to purr. This had always calmed Adora down, but recently, it was all Adora could really trust to know she was on the right track with her old friend.

Maybe they could just stay like this for a while, just like last time. Pretend nothing was wrong.

Catra’s tail wrapped around her back and pulled them closer. But the purring stopped, and Adora shifted curiously. She moved her hand down around the feline’s frame instead.

“Sorry, I should’ve asked if –“

“I love you,” came the hoarse whisper beside her ear. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Out of the shadows and ...
> 
> Thank you for all your thoughtful comments, as usual! It's really helpful to read! (:  
> Hopefully, the wait will be worth your Hordak fix.


	7. What do you want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... and into the light. Hope the wait is worth it (:

What Catra said echoed for what felt like an eternity. 

Adora's voice cracked when she finally spoke into the void. “You … love me?”

Adora thought about moving back to face her, but Catra’s grip was sharp and painful. If the rapid-fire heartbeat she was feeling was Catra’s or her own, she didn’t know while she was in this tight embrace.

She could feel Catra take a deep, soundless breath. “Yeah.”

The memories started to piece together like she had lined the pieces up in a terrain of the enemy’s bases.

_“You promise?”_

_“Because you left me!”_

_“This is what you left me for?”_

_“This isn’t because I like you,”_

_“You do have some_ _good memories, don’t you?”_

She could see every interaction they had ever had shift slightly under a new layer of meaning, as though someone had fixed the static in a security feed. All those lingering moments in her space, those angry scratches …  

Had she wounded Catra more than she thought?

“Hey, Adora?” Catra voice was soft.

“Yeah,” Adora said faintly.

“Look I’m … sorry.” 

Catra’s grip loosened, and it cued her to pull back just enough to see her face. Catra was looking down at the ground again. Her tail released its hold around Adora’s back.

“For letting you fall off that cliff,” Catra explained, presumably seeing her confused expression without even looking at her. The feline continued after a moment of hesitation. “And I guess … that other stuff.”

It took another long beat of silence for Adora to realize that Catra was done talking. Autopilot brought her hands up to Catra’s shoulders.

“Catra, how … how long did you …” Her voice was dry. Unfortunately, her fading question made the feline pull out of her grasp completely.

“Let’s just go,” Catra muttered. The Horde Commander didn’t wait, and Adora watched Catra turn away and walk back to the rebel skiff. And just like that, the moment was seemingly over. She felt dazed, followed.

Neither of them spoke when Adora turned on the skiff and set them back towards the Fright Zone.

When they were high in the cool night air, she chanced a glance at her old friend. Catra had returned to gazing out of the skiff as if nothing had changed apart from the direction they were flying.  

Eventually, she landed beside the trees at the edge of the Whispering Wood. Catra stood ready to leap out even before it settled, but the human grabbed her forearm before her retreat.

Catra just sighed, not bothering to look her in the eye and Adora fought against the dread of finality at this moment. Catra still wanted to leave after that declaration? What if she never came back?

“Come with me.”

“I can’t, Adora,” Catra gave her a sidelong glance.

“Why not?” Adora could feel her face fall as she asked the question that had been rattling in her mind. Her grip on Catra’s forearm tightened.

“Look Adora, I can’t just …” Catra directed her frown at Adora’s grasp, as though it was the only thing holding her back. “Leave like that,” she finished.

“Do you want to leave?” At her question, Catra finally looked up into her eyes, startled. Adora continued quickly, sensing a sliver of a moment. “I mean I could – I could help you. Just come with me right –“

“I need to go,” Catra responded, pulling away hastily. She turned around and leapt over the skiff and onto the forest floor. Adora ran to the edge of the rail after her.

“Wait!“ Somehow, her last call made Catra hesitate enough to stop from stepping out of the shadows of the forest, but she didn’t face her.

“You’ll be there again, won’t you?” Adora bit her lip. “In two days?” She knew her voice was desperate now, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“Yeah,” Catra let out a short laugh, still not bothering to turn around. “Sure.”  

And then Catra stepped into the moonlit plain between the forest and the Fright Zone.

 

* * *

 

“You know, this might not be the worst punishment ever for waking up your mom the other day.” Bow sunk into the steam grotto with a sigh.

“This still doesn’t get you off the hook, Bow,” Glimmer stepped into the water beside him, frowning. Queen Angela had been harassing the three of them ever since they had woken her up the other night. Bow had convinced her to let them leave on the trip (or exile, as Glimmer described it) to Mystacor until Adora had a chance to meet Catra one more time. Not that Queen Angella knew that.  

“I thought we were here to look at Mystacor’s lens?” Adora asked, gingerly stepping in after Glimmer to Bow’s other side. 

“Well that’s why we’re _here_ , but trust me, she probably would have sent us anywhere after that lecture she gave,” Glimmer grumbled. “Tracking the location of the First One’s place through you and the lens took Bow what, five minutes?”

“Uh nope,” Bow grinned. “It took me two. It’s like whoever built the citadel thought to put security cameras. Pure genius.”

“Exactly! We could be going back to Bright Moon right now but mom specifically told us not to. I wonder why,” Glimmer finished sarcastically.

“Well, it's not like we can rally the troops or do anything useful right away.” Bow shrugged. “The other villages are really far away from where the Citadel is, so we still have to do a lot of planning if we want to move people there and guard over it before the Woods moves it around. I mean it would help if we had Swift Wind but who knows where he is now …”

“I could try calling out to him with the Sword,” Adora offered, desperate for the chance to do something other than lounge around.

“Does that even work?” Bow raised an eyebrow at her. “Actually … he’d probably hate it if you do that.”

Glimmer slapped him on the shoulder, and he winced at her painfully. “We came to the grotto for a reason, remember!”

“What – oh! Right!”

“What?” Adora looked between them curiously.

“Private grotto time, no one around,” Glimmer gave her a pointed look. “Tell us what happened last night with Catra!”

“I second that,” Bow nudged Adora. “You’ve been awfully quiet about it. We thought maybe you didn’t want to talk about it until night time, like usual. But uh … someone’s impatient.”

“It’s putting me on edge,” Glimmer sighed.

“Oh. Alright,” Adora said, looking down at the rippling surface of the water. She could feel them pause and glance at each other like they sometimes did.

“Did … you manage to find out what you wanted about what Catra’s doing now?” Glimmer inquired carefully.

“Oh! Uh …” Adora rubbed her neck. She had completely forgotten about her original mission. Just like usual. Bow raised his eyebrow while Glimmer facepalmed.

“I guess not. What did you learn then?”

“Well um …” Adora felt the words catch in her throat suddenly. She drew a resolute breath before continuing. “Catra said she - she loved me.”

If Adora thought they’d looked surprised when they learned that Catra let her scratch her ears, she realized she’d been wrong. Glimmer and Bow looked like they were watching her transform into She-Ra for the first time.

“She said what?!”

“She did not!”

“She did,” Adora looked back at her hands and chuckled nervously. “And she definitely wasn’t joking around about it …”

“This. Explains. _Everything_!” Bow turned excitedly to Glimmer, who looked like she was in the middle of an epiphany.

“That time Catra was dancing with her –"

“And how she’s always going after Adora -"

“What did you say?” Bow and Glimmer were suddenly cramming her space, eyes alight with possibility.  

“I … huh?” Adora tried to back away but she was already pressed against the edge of the stone wall.

“After she told you,” Glimmer clarified excitedly. “ _Please_ say you convinced her to turn on the Horde. That would make this so much easier.”

“I … Can’t say that’s what I did.” Adora looked down.

“Oh,” Glimmer and Bow both leaned back to give her a strange look. “What happened then?”

“Um, to be honest,” Adora’s brows knotted. “I – I was really taken off guard. And I tried to come up with the right thing to say to her but … I might’ve … messed up.” She paused then and rubbed her arm.

“Hey,” Bow put a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up at him. “Catra’s clearly opening up to you and that’s a good sign.” Glimmer floated over to Adora’s other side to place a reassuring hand on Adora’s elbow.

“But … I don’t get it,” Glimmer said. “Why wouldn’t she want to defect if that’s how she feels?”

“I asked Catra to leave,” Adora looked between them both. “But she said she just couldn’t leave the Horde.”

“Okay,” Glimmer frowned at Bow. “Confessing feelings without the intention to leave? Look it’s not just me who thinks this is weird, right?”

“Catra isn’t just a Force Captain anymore. She’s the Horde’s second in command.” Adora pointed out, drawing her arms around her knees like she did whenever she was feeling uncertain about things. She didn’t elaborate further. _Catra still doesn’t want to leave?_ I’m _not enough?_

Oh. This line of thinking felt familiar.

“I can think of three things,” Bow hesitated.

“What’s the first?” Adora looked up at him. It was always a relief to rely on them if she could. Her own thinking was driving her in places she wasn’t sure how to traverse yet.

“Well, either she wanted something from you and was disappointed, or …”

“What?” Adora prompted impatiently. Disappointed. Wasn’t that how Catra felt with her all the time now? Every step she took forward was sure to backfire.

“Or she could have just said that to get in your head,” Bow continued thoughtfully. Glimmer hummed, giving this some serious thought.

“Catra wasn’t trying to get inside my head,” Adora gripped her hands underneath the water. What Bow and Glimmer said made sense … but admitting that meant turning away from the warmth in her chest whenever Catra relaxed in her arms or purred in contentment.

“Yeah, we got that,” Glimmer sighed.

“So what’s the third thing?” Adora forged on.

“Well … Maybe this was her way of moving on.”

“Moving … on,” Adora tested out the words and her tight grip loosened. Somehow, strangely, this idea made her feel the emptiest inside. Like there were possibilities she might have gotten to explore with Catra if not for this war and that yawning forest between them.

“Say,” Bow leaned on the edge of the grotto beside her casually. “What are your feelings for Catra anyway?”

“Oh, um, well,” She buried herself further down in the water. She avoided their gazes and searched for a way out of this. “I – I don’t – I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Glimmer’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean you don’t know?” But Bow’s eyes popped immediately and he slapped his hands to his cheeks.

“Ohmigod you like her too!”

“Wha  - I did _not_ just say that,” Adora protested desperately, looking anywhere but at the two of them.

“Oh my god, you do like her,” Glimmer looked at her in amazement.

“Look, I said I don’t know, okay!?” Her outburst was louder than she wanted it to be. It startled Bow and Glimmer enough to shrink back from her.

Feeling instantly remorseful, Adora huddled in on herself. “Maybe if I did, things wouldn’t have been like this,” she mumbled.

“Okay Adora, we get it,” Glimmer said beseechingly. She approached her cautiously again. “We’re not going to make assumptions.”

“Yeah, promise,” Bow added fearfully.

Adora weaved a hand in the water absently. Now she felt like she needed to give them an explanation. “We were friends growing up. The Horde told us about this happening between soldiers, and they warned us about how it could be dangerous on the field, but they never stopped it. Even with that I … never really considered it before.”

“Can’t say I expected that from the Horde,” Glimmer chuckled, and this lightened the tension a little bit.

“Yeah,” Adora shrugged, with a small smile towards her. She ventured carefully forwards. “I … always thought Catra and I would be battle partners. We worked so well together.”

“You never thought it could be …” Bow drifted off and gestured with his hands vaguely.

“Well,” Adora closed her eyes. She was slipping into focus as if she was in battle. “One day, Catra started sleeping by my feet. And … It made me feel like I was the most important person to her. I thought we were just close.”

“What about now?” Bow asked. “Has it changed?”

Of course things had changed. She couldn’t make things right by doing something crazy and dumb to impress Catra, like stealing a skiff or playing a dangerous game of chase.  Catra wasn’t impressed by that anymore, and she felt like she was floundering haphazardly after her.

Deep down … she knew she wanted Catra at her side, making fun of her and getting too close into her space. At the very least to see … what might happen. The thing was, what would happen?

“Hey,” Bow placed a reassuring hand on Adora’s shoulder to catch her attention. “You said you were meeting Catra again right? Whatever it is, you probably need to tell her this.”

“Ugh, as much as I don’t _really_ like this, maybe Bow’s right.” Glimmer sighed like someone finally giving up on a lost cause. “But Adora, if we learn that she’s just manipulating you, I am going to kick her butt so far up in the sky that she won’t even come back down onto this planet.” The thought of Glimmer attempting to do that to Catra both amused Adora and made her slightly worried.

“Did you just say I was right?” Bow wiggled his eyebrows at Glimmer.

“Getting annoying now, Bow.”

“Thanks, guys,” Adora smiled. The bubbles of nervousness didn’t quite leave but she felt her spirits lift a little at their support.

 

* * *

 

Lord Hordak was not in his throne room.

The torches beside his seat were unlit, but the sleepy green hue of the light screen on the wall behind was enough to cast a dim illusion on the floor. In this darkness, the ceiling was non-existent and made the lair look roofless.

Catra stood swaying before the empty throne, mind far elsewhere.

Last night was hitting her hard. Had she really said what she did to Adora? And she got back a response she had entirely expected. So why did she still feel disappointed?

Everyone had always loved Adora more than her. And the funny thing was, she could get why because she had fallen for Adora herself. Of course, Catra wasn’t good enough for her.

A tiny voice jutted out against this thought stubbornly, as usual. Dealing with Shadow Weaver had taught her that such thoughts were a waste of time if she wanted to survive in this world. Besides what was she expecting? For Adora to ignore how they were on opposite sides of the battlefield?

Despite this, a tear slid down her cheek and slipped along her jaw. She caught it in her palm and stared, wondering when things got to be this way.

Was this the sacrifice her chosen path would demand from her? Well, whatever. She’d already decided what to do, and it wasn’t about herself, for once. Catra closed her fist tightly, hard enough to dig nails into her skin.

The entranceway to the throne room suddenly opened, throwing light upon her back. Catra wiped her face quickly and turned around.

Lord Hordak strode in for a few paces, then noticed her and faltered. “Commander.” He looked at her carefully. “I see that you’re here early.”

“I thought this was our time?” Catra was glad her voice came out clear.

He was silent for a long moment. In the wake of her new apathy, all she could really muster was an undercurrent of tension as he squinted at her. Then finally, he turned away.

“Come with me,” His cape billowed behind him. Uncertain about what was happening, she hurried after him.

Lord Hordak was tall and keeping up with him wasn’t easy. At the end of the service hall, he waved his hand and shadows ate at the wall to reveal an illuminated glass elevator. He walked inside and tilted an eyebrow toward her shocked face in a dare to follow.

“Where are we going?” She questioned, but followed him in regardless. When the doors immediately hissed shut behind her, she spun around with her fur on edge.

“Patience, Commander. You will see.”

The elevator floor rose up swiftly without any further instruction, and soon they broke ground. The glass panels allowed them a view of the Fright Zone at pre-dawn. Soldiers marched around various buildings, rapidly shrinking to the size of ants as they climbed up the central tower.

Catra had already seen such vistas in her various excursions of the Fright Zone but standing here with Lord Hordak was another matter. She thought about how the fate of all those soldiers was in the palms of their hands. She turned to glance at him, but Lord Hordak’s face was impassive and unreadable.

The elevator slipped through concrete and emerged into the middle of a circular room with a hiss.  

This room was walled by glass stretching widely enough to make the skies remind her of the oceans. Directly in front of them were two sleek couches facing each other with a table between. The only indication of personalization was a shelf along the side housed by books, weapons and trinkets. Stairs curled upwards behind them and disappeared from view.

“My quarters, as you can see,” Lord Hordak strode forwards. “Take a seat.”

_His quarters?_

But she did as asked and went to sit down, looking around with wide eyes. The sunrise was turning the skies a bloody red. From here, if Catra squinted, she could faintly spot the peak of Bright Moon’s Castle far off in the horizon past the Whispering Woods. The crescents of Etheria’s celestial siblings poked shyly over the castle today.

“You did not have your first meal this morning, I presume.” Lord Hordak was keying in something to a pad by his bookshelf.

“No,” Catra relented. She fidgeted in her seat.

“You’ve also missed the message I sent to arrive to you at that time, stating that we were meeting with several Force Captains.”

Catra looked down at the shiny floor. She knew Lord Hordak was looking at her, but she duly avoided his gaze. “This leads me to believe that you have much to discuss,” he continued in the silence.

Catra’s brow creased.

“I am not attacking you, commander,” Hordak said quietly, and his correct interpretation of her thoughts threw her off-guard. There was another hiss and after a moment he walked over to sit on the seat opposite her. When he placed an enclosed platter on the table between them, her ear twitched in curiosity.

“I hear these are quite good,” Lord Hordak said neutrally. He uncovered the platter to reveal a stack of Scorpia’s cookies and she stared at in amazement. Lord Hordak took one, dipping it in a glass of milk before tossing it whole into his mouth.

“You want me to eat this?” Catra asked, completely dumbfounded.

“Do as you will, commander. This is only an offer.” He raised an eyebrow and took another one. Catra gaped, then took a long glance at the food in front of her. Her ears twitched once. 

She picked a cookie and then hesitated. “Did you get Scorpia to make these the other day, too?”

“I _asked_ Force Captain Scorpia to make these, as a reminder of when my old patterns fail me.” Lord Hordak corrected. “She went on to make a new batch for you on her own. I only suggested this,” He pushed the glass of milk towards her.

His story was familiar, but she didn’t move to take his offer. “What do you mean, “old patterns”?”

“Do you resent me for putting you through your nightly missions?” Lord Hordak asked instead. She looked up at him once, then away with gritted teeth. Her tail lashed behind her.

“I don’t understand,” Catra muttered tightly. “The rest of the Horde is looking for that temple. I’ve gained nothing for you by talking to her so why do you  -”

“But you have,” he interrupted. “I can see how agitated you have become.”

“Helpful.” Her tail curled defensively.

Lord Hordak said nothing for a long time. When Catra finally gathered the courage to look at him, he was gazing towards Bright Moon. The red sky cast lines upon his pale face.   

“When I made you a Force Captain, Catra, I saw potential.” Lord Hordak said. “And I knew I could win your loyalty if I gave you a chance like my former disciple never did. You went on to prove your worth by yourself.”

“I learned of Shadow Weaver’s meddling between you and She-Ra much later. Despite this, you had been close friends before her betrayal. I came to wonder if that bond of yours would be your downfall.” He glanced at her briefly. “And yet, I could see from your successes that you were She-Ra’s weakness as well. It’s given you an edge against the Rebellion.”

“I thought you didn’t want this to be about her?” Catra felt her shoulders tense. If it had been Shadow Weaver, Catra would have thrown a scoff or a growl in with her current mood, but this was Lord Hordak.

“You think I would have made you my second in command for just that reason?” Lord Hordak’s voice hardened. She didn’t respond.

Lord Hordak rose to his full height and walked to the glass wall until his frame silhouetted against the rise of the fiery dawn sky and he was staring at the distant castle of their enemy.

When he spoke again, it was in a soft voice. “That would be foolish, commander. You have so much more to offer. No other Force Captain would dare challenge me like this. You are honest and unafraid with your thoughts. That is valuable.” He gave her a side-long glance. At his words, a faint glow of surprised pleasure bloomed in her chest.

“My old pupils had their flaws, as you know.” He turned back to the glass. “I gave Skeletor power, and he betrayed me for power. I gave a rejected witch a runestone and children of her own, and she became obsessed with using them to overthrow me. I have … not done well.” He finished quietly.

Catra perked an eyebrow and watched carefully as he walked to his shelf. He plucked a book and came back to toss it on the table. It fell open immediately to worn pages and she leaned forward to look. There was a complicated map of … planets?

“Before we were cursed into exile within this pocket of the universe, the Horde ruled the universe,” Hordak said as she traced over what she quickly understood to be dense interstellar routes. “The star chart shows you how powerful we were. I was tasked with conquering the tiny planet of Eternia.”

“I failed extraordinarily for a young commander. Through a stroke of luck, I landed next to the Black Garnet in Etheria after my banishment by Skeletor. I re-leared what it took to lead an army. No commander in the true Horde would dare allow their second to lead battles of their own, as I let Shadow Weaver. I saw that that our old methods needed improvement.”

Lord Hordak gestured at the Fright Zone beyond the glass. “Our army is not made of true Horde warriors. These soldiers needed purpose and so I gave them one – they fight Princesses for the sake of order. This was not enough for my past seconds.” His arm dropped and he gazed again at Catra

“I pushed you against your weaknesses to challenge _you_. I wanted you to grow stronger.” Lord Hordak turned and looked her in the eyes.  “And I needed to know if you would be loyal to the Horde.”

Catra leaned back, brows creased as she spoke. “Adora asked me to leave the Horde last night. I stayed.”

“I can see that commander,” Hordak tilted his head. His eyes blazed gently, highlighted against the red sky. “But I feel you have still become … fond of her, perhaps. I did not anticipate both happening.”

Sitting down was making her uncomfortable, so she decided to stand. The gesture caused him to raise his eyebrows.

“The Rebellion claims that the Horde is Evil. But the old Horde doesn’t touch us here.” Catra gestured at the star chart. “You said it yourself, your army isn’t like theirs. Why should we be the _Evil_ Horde?”

“Evil. A clever term pinned on us by those with opposing objectives.” Hordak folded his arms behind his back and played along with her change in topic. “Isn’t that convenient? Catra, there is no true reference of what is good or evil. Would your scientist find you an equation to determine whether your actions are good or evil? No. That is why she cares not about such terms. She merely works on her science.”

Hordak chuckled. “We decide the rules, commander, when we are in power. There is nothing _wrong_ with that. Morality is simply a tool to make societies behave for everyone’s benefit. I don’t think this is what agitates you.”

Catra looked down and gritted her teeth. She had grown strong to seek power and survive in her own way. She couldn’t bring herself to take up Adora’s offer to leave because she knew it would be like dying.

Who was she in Adora’s constant shadow? Even if her desire for a … bond with her was reciprocated, a part of her knew that she would have lost herself. Adora was too large a force.

But that really wasn’t really her issue.

“I can’t … get rid of how I feel about her,” Catra chose this answer with a pounding heart and sat back down slowly.

“I see,” Lord Hordak’s tone softened just a bit. “I hoped you would tell me.”

At this Catra looked away, her heart still hammering. She hadn't quite expected this. “I thought you would throw me out.”

“I don’t betray my own people so easily,” he said. When Catra looked up at him, he raised an eyebrow at her. “I presumed the captains made it clear that soldiers were to report such strong feelings of affection.”

Catra tried not to look shocked.

“I cannot promise a guarantee against the enemy, but I have the power to order the army to not _kill_ She Ra.” Lord Hordak said stiffly. He walked around the couch to sit back down across from her.

“If she was captured, perhaps she might come to her senses and return your affections.” Hordak took another cookie thoughtfully and Catra realized that he was probably the only being who could eat it with dignity.

“She … knows.” Catra looked down. “She doesn’t feel the same.”

There was a pause. “I see,” he said quietly.

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Catra relented, sending him a glance. “I wouldn’t have left.”

“I appreciate your loyalty, Commander.” Lord Hordak relaxed into the couch. “But then what is it that you want? Do you know?”

“You wanted to see us conquer Eternia?”

“Yes.”

“That’s what I want too.” She met his eyes directly.

“How do you intend to see this through?” Lord Hordak raised an eyebrow.

Catra took a breath and gazed out at the window, just as the sun rose past the trees and true light shone down upon them. “That temple. I can get Adora to lead me there. I think I know how.”

When Catra finally made it back to her room, the exhaustion from the conversations she’d rammed into her like a hit from Shadow Weaver. The only productive thing she managed to do was send a message to Entrapta, finally telling her that her vanishing weapon was no longer on hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading thus far (:


	8. The Citadel

Adora followed Catra’s movements from behind the shadows of a pillar. The commander was earlier than usual, and her tail lashed as she walked to the edge of the tower.

_I shouldn’t keep her waiting._

But Adora didn’t move. It wasn’t always that she allowed herself to watch her friend like this. Catra had heavy shoulders as she walked, as though the responsibility she carried now wore on her. Adora wished she was privy to the reasons why ... if only to ease them off a bit.

She watched as Catra’s ears twisted, and she looked to one side with a huff.

_Okay, I really need to go out there._

“Hey,” Adora greeted gently as she left the security of her pillar. Catra turned around to take in her approach. Her tail curled.

“Finally,” Catra glanced away. “Let’s go,” And for once, she was the first to leap over the edge of the wall. Adora raised her eyebrows but followed regardless.

When they were flying up in the skiff, Adora realized that breaching the topic of last night was going to be harder than she thought. The words she wanted to say just weren’t there.

She tapped her fingers on the rudder, stalling for time.

“Hey Adora,” When Catra’s voice was nearer than she expected, she jumped. Catra thankfully ignored this and peeled her eyes at their surroundings. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“Of course,” Adora said immediately. “What is it?” She sent Catra an encouraging smile with a touch at her elbow, which, for some reason, made the feline falter and clear her throat.

“Wait,” Adora raised an eyebrow at the sight. “Are you – “

“Screw off!” Catra shoved her face away frantically, and Adora chocked with laughter. She’d never seen Catra get so flustered so easily and it warmed her heart. Catra huffed, but the flush in her face was still there. “Ugh, you’re so annoying.”

“So, you really do like me, huh _,_ ” Adora nudged her by the elbow, unable to resist teasing. It was like they had been transported to a time when nothing was between. But the grimace on Catra’s face reminded her about what she was joking about, and she stopped laughing.

“Catra,” Adora wavered, now ready to launch into a too-fast monologue about what she did and didn’t know about her own feelings, how much she just wanted Catra at her side, and how scared she was to  - but the Horde commander spoke before she could start on that embarrassing info dump.

“Look, Adora, I’m tired of fighting.” That made Adora shut up. “I have a plan that’ll get rid of Hordak. Entrapta’s built us a device that’ll make someone vanish and well …”

Adora blinked. She held up a finger. “Wait. Did you just say you wanted to get rid of Hordak?”

“Yes,” Catra folded her arms and grit her teeth. “But Entrapta needs a _lot_ more power to get it working. So-”

“Wait, wait, hold on.” Adora placed a hand on Catra’s wrist. It’s not like these weren’t the words she’d been dreaming of hearing in what felt like forever. But … “Why? I thought you said you didn’t want to leave the Horde.”

Catra’s back hunched, but Adora could see her frown fade into a look of defeat. “I … really meant what I said last time, you know.”

Adora had never thought that such simple words, meaningless out of context, would take her breath away.

“The day you left, I wanted to leave. For a while.” She slipped back out of Adora’s grasp and rubbed her arm. “The Fright Zone was like a new home when they made me Force Captain.”

“But I just ...” Catra sent her a creased glace, as though trying to decipher runes and Adora looked down to her wrist when she felt Catra’s tail wrap around it briefly. Catra turned away with a sigh.

“Hey,” Adora put a hand on Catra’s shoulder and took a step closer. Catra looked back at her warily, so she continued gently. “I meant it when I said I missed you too, you know. Back in the Citadel.”

“Yeah I – okay,” Catra turned her gaze away to the side but Adora could see the crooked twist of a reluctant smile. A feeling of accomplishment accompanied Adora’s hammering heart. This was progress.

“So … what’s your plan?” Adora inquired, running her hand down Catra’s shoulder to her elbow. Her attention honed in momentarily towards the way Catra’s fur fluffed at the touch. She considered how much she wanted to slip her hand in the feline’s and erase that look of sadness earlier.

Catra’s voice made the human snap her attention back up. “I know how to get Hordak to use Entrapta’s device. But Entrapta’s device won’t work without better First One’s tech.”

Adora raised an eyebrow.

“So I need your help grabbing some more stuff from that temple of yours,” Catra mumbled.

_She’s asking me for the Citadel. The one thing I know the Horde is looking for._

Adora retreated and walked to the edge of the rail of the Skiff.  Her eyes skirted over the lay of the woods. “Isn’t the Horde looking for the Citadel?”

“Yeah,” Catra’s voice betrayed her surprise. “Okay, how’d you figure that one out?”

“We ran into some tanks.” Adora looked back at her. “And I read that book about land tactics, remember? Things didn’t add up.”

“R-right. I remember you reading that.”

“What exactly does your device do?”

“It makes people flicker,” Catra gestured out in front of them. “But it _can_ do a lot more if we give it the right tech, according to her.”

“That’s how you made the weather go all weird last time, too,” Adora concluded. The voice of Glimmer chose that moment to speak up in her mind.

_Adora, she’s still part of the Horde. How can you trust her with something like this? Strange coincidence?_

_But … but she said she loves me._

“Adora,” Catra put her hand on her shoulder and Adora took the chance to meet her gaze. “Hey, I am not betraying you.” Catra’s eyes were earnest. And that was all Adora really needed to decide.

She took a breath. “I don’t think you are.”

“Okay,” Catra’s shoulders lost their tenseness. “So … what do you say, then?”

Adora felt torn. Her gut was telling her to trust Catra on this, but she didn’t know how she could justify helping Catra to her friends. Handing the Citadel to the Horde’s official _Second in Command_ was a line she thought they were trusting her not to cross.

If she was being honest, there was all that other stuff she needed to sort out too, like these still-confusing feelings for Catra. She was pretty sure it was clouding her judgement.

“Well …” Adora trailed off, ignoring both dilemmas. “I have an idea.”

 

* * *

 

Outside the tent, the buzz of the night-time forest was relentless. For Bow, however, the noise was familiar, would always lull him to sleep. It was the steady beeping of his security monitor that roused him from the chair he dozed off in.

“Hmm?” He said blearily. When his vision adjusted, he blinked at the security feed in amazement. He rubbed his eyes.

“Uh, Glimmer?” He said slowly. But the princess behind him remained snoring in her pack.

“Glimmer!”

“Huh- what!?” She jumped awake. Glimmer scanned the room and found the back of Bow’s chair. She teleported to his side to see what he was looking at but …there was nothing happening at the Citadel’s door. Bow, however, was biting his nails, so she poked him. “Uh … what’s going on? Did you just wake me up because you saw the ghost again?”

“Ghost?! I thought you said there was no –“ Bow calmed himself down enough to speak again. “Look,” He looped backwards on the track until he reached the scene he wanted.

The tiny clearing was relatively empty until she noticed Adora striding in, looking around carefully. And behind her followed … Catra.

“You’re kidding me.” Glimmer narrowed her eyes.

“Wait for it.” He selected another monitor so that they could see the expressions on the other two.

Catra was stunned, like she hadn’t expected to find the Citadel. Adora said something to open the door and while Catra was entranced by the door opening, Adora looked straight into their current screen and offered a plaintive look and a nod before turning forwards and leading them in.

 _Trust me_ it said.

“Ugh, for Etheria’s sake, I can’t _believe_ what I’m seeing,” Glimmer groaned and dragged one hand down her face. “I sure hope she knows what she’s  - wait.” Glimmer froze. “How did she get there so fast?”

“Our nearest bases are days away from the site,” Bow said grimly. He tapped his device settings quickly. “Which means she –“

“Changed the Whispering Woods,” Glimmer finished in shock.

Bow pulled up a screen that showed the locations of their bases, but everything was different from where it used it be. “Some of them moved towards the Citadel,” Bow pointed at a few of them. “Ours isn’t too far off.”

“Did she tell us she could do that?” Glimmer leaned in to give the map a scan. “I didn’t know someone else could.”

“I mean, maybe? She said she found a beacon last time, right? Maybe it happened last time.”  

Glimmer looked out their tent flap nervously. “Well, the last time those two were in the Citadel, something really bad happened.”

“I hear you,” Bow put a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s go get a Skiff and stay close, in case Adora needs our help.”

“Thank goodness we’re still not in Brightmoon,” Glimmer heaved a breath. “Mom would kill us if she knew what was happening. You think it’ll all be sorted out by tomorrow?” She perked up hopefully.

“I just hope those two have sorted it out,” Bow said as he packed his stuff, and she deflated a little.

“Tell me about it.” Glimmer watched him pack for a while before speaking up again. “So … is that why you went behind my back to do all that, before? Just … trying to help them out?”

“I just figured there was something between them, you know?” Bow stood up with his back to her and his tone shifted thoughtfully. “I think about the way your mom looks at your dad’s throne sometimes and well … Don’t you think this war has torn apart enough people?”

“Yeah, you’ve always been an idealist,” Glimmer rolled her eyes.

Bow turned around to send her an embarrassed. “I feel bad for not telling you. And after everything that happened at Princess Prom … I can imagine how mad you were.” He hung his head.  

“It’s okay,” Glimmer finally relented. “I get it. I sneak out all the time with mom, but I guess it is because I usually feel like she’s going to stop us. I mean we’ve gotten better but … she might kill us after this.”

“Maybe,” Bow looked panicked.

“But …” Glimmer continued awkwardly. This had been on her mind for a while. “Seeing how far Adora’s gone to get her friend back makes me think of how lucky I am to still have you as mine.”

Bow’s gasped. His eyes turned starry and he threw himself around her shoulders.

“Just don’t do that again, you idiot,” Glimmer laughed.

“Never,” Bow promised, and he tightened his grip.

“Uh … Bow … can’t breathe …” 

 

* * *

 

The Citadel.

The lights along the floor illuminated the descent towards the central room. Towards the site of her remaining nightmares.

This was triggering more memories than she expected.

“Hey, you okay?” Catra gave her a worried look as they walked side by side.

“Yeah,” Adora shrugged it off. This was the last thing she wanted to talk about right now.

“If you say so,” Her friend muttered, but Catra’s tail crawled around her wrist for a gentle squeeze and Adora felt like her heart was melting. She opened her mouth to speak, but Catra was looking ahead. She closed her mouth instead.

The central room looked exactly as it had when she first followed the beacon here.

“It’s like nothing happened,” Catra was entranced by the stillness of the sparkling room, though she didn’t stray far.

Adora scanned the room, half expecting more robot spiders to burst out at them. She hadn’t come with the Sword of Protection, so she hoped the temple could recognize her. And then there was that prickly sensation of being watched that this place seemed to ooze.  

She selected a nearby pillar and found a piece of tech embedded in its center. She twisted its center a little - it looked like it could come off easy. “This one look good to you?”

When there was no response, Adora turned. Catra was biting her lip, her tail was swaying nervously.  

“Adora, I need to ask you something.”

“What?” Adora tried to swallow the sudden nervousness in her chest.

“Do you …” Catra paused as though trying to find the right words. “Do you really think the Horde is evil?”

There was a beat of silence. “What do mean?”

“Well, some soldiers don’t know any better,” Catra elaborated with a gesture. “Like us. Well maybe just you if its between us.”

“Sure, okay.” Adora said slowly. She didn’t know where this was going, but Catra’s tone was … unreadable. “We grew up that way. This is about Hordak and Shadow Weaver being evil, really. Why do you ask?

“I can’t argue about Shadow Weaver,” Catra bared her teeth. “But Hordak … I don’t know … ”

“Catra, you do realize Hordak is the one doing all this, right?” Adora’s brows creased. She didn’t like the way Catra was talking about him. “The Horde wants to take over the Princesses lands and they _killed_ Glimmer’s dad.”

“But you wouldn’t blame the soldier who killed him, would you?” Catra’s voice dropped. “You’d blame Hordak for ordering them to fight.”

“Well … yes,” Adora’s said evasively. Catra didn’t know that it had been Queen Angela who ordered that battle, but she had a feeling that telling Catra that wouldn’t be a good idea for her case. “Hordak brainwashes everyone in the Horde. He told us that we were fighting for a good cause – they were all lies.”

“But he grew up like that too,” Catra muttered, rubbing her arm. “The Horde – the one that’s outside of Etheria, that is – they raised him to conquer. That’s all he ever was. Children raised to fight wars … isn’t that what we were, too?”

Adora folded her arms and narrowed her eyes until they were steely. She didn’t know why Catra was talking to her about old Horde history. She’d thought Catra had never been interested in that material.  “No. Hordak _knows_ what he’s doing. And the true Horde isn’t here to order him around, are they? He didn’t have to do all this if he didn’t want to. Catra, Lord Hordak is tearing apart this planet.”

“What about me?”

“What?” Adora widened her eyes in surprise. She took a step closer until she could grasp her hand. “Catra, you’re _not_ Lord Hordak.”

“Haven’t I done what he did, though?” Catra raised her eyes up to look into hers. There was a question there. “I had a choice. I even knew the Horde was evil before you did. I never did anything to step up to it then.”

“I know you,” Adora said gently. She took another step, and Catra’s tail weaved. “You’re not a bad person. The Horde never really gave us much choice. Especially Shadow Weaver.”

“Admit it, Adora,” Catra shook her head and frowned. “You’re saying this because you … care about me or something, for some reason. Because we grew up together.”

“Catra, I  …” She could have said more, but the constant fear that she would push Catra away was stronger than her desire to just put everything on the line, out in the open.

After a beat of hesitant silence, Catra smiled sadly. “Yeah, exactly. I don’t know what it is either. But I’m that same way, with Hordak.”

Adora’s brows furrowed in confusion. Right, she was certain that whatever Catra felt towards Hordak was _not_ what she was feeling, at all. “I don’t know about that.”

“Fine, I care about the others like you care about your rebel friends,” Catra rolled her eyes. “Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio still stick around for some reason. And I’m responsible for Scorpia and Entrapta. It’s nicer than it was before.” Catra finished, and Adora swallowed a lump at those words. It was … startlingly nice to hear Catra confide in her again, but the topic matter.

Things were nicer now for Catra than they were when it was just the two of them, really.  

“But Hordak is …” Catra turned off to the distance. “It was like he was always what I hoped Shadow Weaver would be. And I used to think _pft, yeah right_ , Hordak can turn around and cut me down just like Shadow Weaver. But he never did. Even when he could.”

“You can’t possibly trust him,” Adora said quietly.

“Just like you trust me.”

“I don’t get understand,” Hearing Catra talk about Hordak and the rest of the crew in the Horde like this made her heart twist. “You just told me you wanted to get rid of Hordak.”

Catra took a deep breath. Her tail weaved quickly, like it did when she got nervous.

“Er, so that … thing I told you about making Hordak vanish.”

“Yes?” Adora narrowed her eyes.

“So he’d reappear in … Eternia. Another planet,” Catra looked at her fearfully. As though Adora’s expression wasn’t what she was hoping for, she continued hastily. “Look, Hordak doesn’t want to conquer Etheria. He just wants to get revenge on someone in Eternia. If I get him there, then there’s no war anymore. Works out for the Rebellion, works out for him.”

A pause.

Adora threw her hands in the air. “You’re taking _Hordak_ to a different _planet_!?”

“Wha – hey, I thought about this a lot, you know!” Catra said defensively. “All he talks about is conquering Eternia. Does he really care about Etheria? No!”

“Oh, so you’re going to let him take over _another_ planet just like he’s been trying to do to this one?”

“I mean it sounds like whoever’s there now is a jerk but that doesn’t matter does it?” Catra defended. “Comon Adora, Hordak actually listens to me. I know a part of him wants to be different from the old Horde. Just let me at least try. Entrapta can make sure we never return to Eternia.”

“You were going to go and never come back?” Adora’s face fell.

“I mean, how else did you think this would work if –“  Catra trailed off when Adora slammed the piece of First One’s tech into the column and walked back out in the direction of the entranceway.

“Uh, where are you going?” Catra called after her in confusion.

“I’m not helping you with your dumb idea,” Adora’s hands shook with how tightly they were clenched. Catra really did have a whole new family in the Horde. And she was willing to jump on a one-way interplanetary expedition with them. Crossing the forest wasn’t even something Catra could do for her, no matter how much she said she cared.  

“Uh, my dumb idea is probably your best way of stopping this war without getting anyone else  - I don’t know – _killed?_ ” Catra jogged up beside her, gesturing angrily but not getting in her way. Adora stopped abruptly, making Catra nearly trip.

“You think I did all of this so you could just _go with the Horde_ and never see me again? When all I  –“ Adora stopped. Catra’s look of utter shock was enough to make her shut up. It wasn’t often that Adora yelled because she was angry and she was reminded of why she didn’t do it – she revealed far too much before she was ready.

The feline approached her slowly “I thought this was always about the Horde and the Rebellion to you,” Catra said slowly. “You know … getting me on your side?”

“Well then you’re the one who’s really dumb,” Adora said irritably, hunching in on herself.

“Hey that was uncalled – “

“And all you ever do is run _away_!”

“I _run_ –“ Catra halted her angry hiss. It was like she was thinking because she eventually sheathed her claws and rose up with a deep breath. “Okay. _What_ are you talking about?”

“When you said you loved me,” Adora finally burst. Her cheeks tinged pink as she forged on. “You didn’t even let me tell you how I _– I felt about you_ ,” Adora poked her hard in the chest to push Catra backwards. When she met Catra’s startled gaze, she pulled her hand back to her side in guilt.

“It’s just … you always _run_.” she continued quietly. “And I just always disappoint you. All this time, I just wanted us to go back to how it used to be. But it’s only a matter of time, isn’t it? Neither of us can really leave the people we’re with.” Adora brushed her eyes bitterly. “Maybe you should go. Forget about me. Maybe we’d stop … we’d stop hurting each other.”

Catra approached her cautiously. And when Adora didn’t move away, she padded close and wrapped her arms around her back.

“I’m … sorry ... for running away.” Catra murmured eventually. “I just don’t want to see anyone killed. And uh … I’m the disappointment, remember. Not you.”

Adora chuckled into her shoulder weakly. “Says the person who’s making space travel possible.”

“Adora, we both know that person's Entrapta."

“Says the person’s who’s still my best friend, then.”

Catra didn’t speak for a long while. Eventually, she wrapped her tail around them both and murmured, “Guess so.”

In the silence, Adora felt her heart tug up hopefully, in a way that only Catra could do. “I’m sorry too,” she whispered. “Being mad, leaving, being scared of-of not telling you things. Of Shadow Weaver, of – “

“Adora, I don’t know how to tell you this, but some of those things just aren’t your fault.”

Adora pulled back, looking at Catra with a faint smile. “O … kay. Maybe you’re right.”

“Duh, of course I am.”

Adora’s eyes slid shut and she thudded her forehead against Catra’s. A pleasant buzz settled into her chest just as Catra laughed, though her friend didn’t move away. Trust. So this was what trust felt like with Catra. Not just the trust she had when they fought in battle, but … something else, too.

“Sap,” Catra chuckled.

“You’re the one purring,” she murmured, with her eyes still closed. Catra grumbled, and it made the human smile sadly.

She wished, more than ever, that this war was over. If Catra’s admittedly insane plan didn’t revolve around going to … Eternia …

_Eternia. The password to the Citadel._

 Adora leaned back, and Catra blinked open her eyes in curiosity.

“Wait, we _can_ do it.” Adora’s eyes were alight with a new idea. “I can –“

Just then, there was a loud thud of a door being closed. Both of them gasped and spun to watch as the doors leading out of the central room slammed shut around them one by one.

“Adora?” Catra asked slowly, and her tail wrapped around Adora’s leg. Her claws unsheathed. Adora drew her spear from her back, frowning.

“I don’t know what’s –“ And then she dropped like a rock.

 

* * *

 

“Adora?” Catra caught her friend as she fell like dead weight on her feet. The spear clattered to the floor as she lowered her friend to the floor.

“Adora!” Catra slapped her cheeks together, heart racing when she saw that the human was out cold, as though in the middle of a deep slumber. After her momentary panic faded, she pressed her ears to Adora’s chest. There was her heartbeat, slow but present.

She pulled back, eyes flickering frantically over her friend for an explanation when a bright light grew in front of her. She gasped and threw her hands up to block the light. When it finally faded, she opened one eye hesitantly.

“You have manipulated She-Ra enough.”

 


	9. Core Shadow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When S2 came with mentions of portals ... Well, excellent.

“You mean to tell me,” Lord Hordak said slowly, “that you’ve _lost_ our second in command?”

Catra’s squad looked at each other nervously. They had found Lord Hordak in the war room with the other Force Captains. He had let them in, to the chagrin of the senior officials who were forced to retreat to the walls.

“W-well …” Scorpia stammered. Entrapta stepped past her and leaned into the war table with fascination. She was the only one unaffected by the leers of the Force Captains around them.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that we lost her, really,” Entrapta’s hair stretched to somewhere in the middle of the maps.  “Catra was last seen somewhere here, but … as you can see, the Horde’s bases have –“

“Changed, yes.” Lord Hordak snapped impatiently. “Why do you think we are all here? Now tell me, under what circumstances would you lose a signal?”

“Hmm …” Entrapta rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “It’ll work around most forms of First One’s tech, although my sensors did seem jammed when the Rebellion defeated us at Bright Moon … ”

“And a broken watch?” Lord Hordak asked casually.

“Oh, yes, it wouldn’t be possible to pick up a signal if her watch was broken.” Entrapta was pleased. Clearly, he was a sharp observer. The other Force Captains scoffed.

“Of course,” Lord Hordak’s jaw clenched. “And does it work around that temple?”

Entrapta laughed. “Well if I could do that, there wouldn’t be a reason for Catra to go out there.”

“Why isn’t that possible?” He straightened and paced around the table towards her. “You have excellent access to our resources. Surely by now a scientist of your calibre would have found a solution?”

Entrapta’s eyes lit up, while Scorpia looked between the two anxiously. “Ohhh I have several theories about that. My best one is that the location of the First One’s temple is encrypted, so I can’t get a precise location. She-Ra could be the only one who could access the temple. Probably through her sword …”

“I can’t believe this world,” Lord Hordak muttered.

“Oh, I’ve been thinking about that too,” Entrapta beamed. “For all we know, this entire world could just be in our heads! We could be chained to a test tube and fed nutrients to keep us alive! It would take a lot of tech, just like –“

Lord Hordak held up his hand, and it silenced Entrapta immediately. He rubbed her forehead after a second, clearly taken on a trip after hearing her theory. Even the Force Captains and the squad seemed uncomfortable at this thought.

“Scorpia,” he said, and Scorpia jumped. “You are responsible for this team in Catra’s absence. Ready yourselves. I will meet you at the bunkers after my meeting is finished Force Captains. We will fly towards where Catra was last seen and secure that temple before Rebel forces move in.”

“Oh, yes sir,” Scorpia heaved a breath of relief. She’d already bit her nails in worry over Catra’s disappearance. “Wait. You’re coming with us? I mean no offence sir, but … you’re the leader of the Horde.”

“Ah, yes,” Lord Hordak said. “And _this temple_ is clearly the key to every _single_ problem we have. It is our primary objective, and I want _no_ room for error. I trust the other Force Captains are adept at their own tasks.” He met the eyes of each captain in the room, and they bowed their heads in assent.

“Oh, this is going to get _weird_!” Entrapta grinned.

 

* * *

 

“I know who you are, Catra, Horde soldier.”

Catra lowered her hands. Her tailed weaved anxiously. Before her was an apparition in the form of an elongated body. She’d seen Adora talking to one like this before. Some holographic … administrator, or something.

“I must ask you to let go of Adora, immediately.” The apparition said. And Catra’s eyes snapped away towards their surroundings when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.

Robot spiders stepped closer and formed a tight circle all around her. Their red eyes beamed, waiting, watching. They were nothing like the monsters that the two of them had fought outside in the woods, of course. She was the hunted, this time.

“You’re making a mistake,” Catra hissed.

“I do not think I am,” The apparition informed her. “Your memories were encoded alongside She-Ra’s on your previous visit. Your probability of deviancy from the First One’s laws are extremely high.”

Catra paled. Did this thing remember her from when she had left Adora dangling off a cliff?

“I’m not the person I was back then,” Catra said, placing a hand over her heart. “I swear.”

“It does not really matter who you are now. You still bear a Horde uniform, and you seek to ship Lord Hordak to Eternia, do you not?”

Catra growled, frustrated, but the robot spiders took a step forward.

“Let go of Adora,” the apparition said once more. Catra hissed, but the steady movement of the robots towards her didn’t halt. Their eyes beamed, as though powering up for an attack, and that was when Catra decided that arguing was going to be fruitless.

So, she pulled Adora towards her and pressed her clawed fingers into her neck.

“If you come closer, she dies too.”

The spiders halted suddenly in the central room and turned to the apparition as though uncertain. The apparition tilted its head at her. Catra hardened her eyes.

“Very well. We will wait.”  Without giving Catra a chance to respond, it faded, leaving Catra with the faint whirring of the temple. The background hum was sinister in her ears, as though the temple was watching, waiting for her to slip.

Adora’s body jumped a little, and Catra looked at her anxiously. But the human only relaxed again onto her shoulder.

There was one thing she could do, but there was a high chance that it could backfire rather severely. She swallowed as she glanced at her watch. She'd thought this thing was useless, back when she'd been trying to detect where Adora was in the Fright Zone. Not so anymore. With a shaky breath, she brought her wrist up and raised her other finger to tap the screen.

And froze.

On her radar screen, was a slowly pulsing dot, innocuous, waiting. It was waiting, right outside the hard ring that represented the spiders around her.  

Catra looked up but the spiders were still and silent beasts of ancient technology. Their red eyes of the spiders all pulsed together, like a bomb about to go off. She couldn’t make out anything beyond them.

Catra glanced back down at her watch. The innocuous dot was still there, pulsing on her radar screen.

There was something else here, Catra thought with a chill.

Her heart thudded with fear and she pulled Adora closer in a futile attempt for warmth. A tail wrapped around her sleeping friend’s leg tightly. She checked the tablet that Adora still wore around her waist and she faltered.

There were other life forms here.

She looked up at the spiders again, but there was still nothing she could make out beyond them. What … what was waiting there?

A second later, her question was answered. The spiders right in front her exploded with a loud explosion and she shrieked.

“What the …” Catra threw herself down over her friend and peered beyond the carnage, just enough for her to catch sight of the people she had most hoped to avoid. All around her, spiders woke up and started a stampede towards the attackers.

It was Glimmer and Bow, and a Pegasus horse, assaulting the spiders from the other end of the main room of the temple.

Catra coughed and pulled Adora onto her feet. She cursed Adora’s friends the entire jog towards the wall, where she gently set down the sleeping human. Then she cursed some more and took off towards them.

The princess of Bright Moon, Glimmer, was teleporting far above them to drop spiders. The archer, however, was struggling to attack the ones that were closing in on him. The horse flew close to zap several, but it wasn’t enough.  

Catra leapt onto a spider that was stomping towards the boy and jabbed its eyes, making it thrash widely and hit a few of its comrades. Bow looked around in amazement, as Catra leapt down by him before the spider came to a shuddering halt.

“Geez, do you idiots never watch your back?” Catra rolled her eyes. There was a rush of air by her ear and only instinct made her dive away. But when she rolled over to attack, she saw the machine topple over, fizzling.

 “We watch each other’s backs!” Bow called to her with a grin.

Catra wanted nothing more than to facepalm at such a corny line, but there was no time. Glimmer appeared and leaned into Bow breathlessly. “There’s … too many …” she was gasping.

Catra growled and threw a spark plug into an approaching spider. Bow loosed a flurry of arrows and the electrocuted spiders thrashed into each other.

“I have a bomb we can use!” Catra said, backing into them as enemies kept attacking them. She wished she had asked Entrapta to make her watch a gun instead, at this point. “Let’s lure them into the same spot and wipe them out once and for all!”

“A bomb?” Glimmer yelled back. “ _Inside?_ Are you crazy?!”

“You have a better idea, Sparkles?” Catra screamed back. She hoped her watch bomb wasn’t big enough to kill them all. “They’re in one place, we can get them!”

“We _are_ being cornered, Glimmer!” Bow shouted back.

“I don’t like this, but I agree with the cat-human girl there!” Said the horse.

Catra blinked and turned towards the horse. “Wait you can talk!?”

“Oh here we go again,” the horse rolled its eyes. “Just get on my back.”

“What happened to Adora?!” Glimmer tossed another energy ball, before leaping onto the horse. Bow followed suit, and Catra did as well. Well, she had been in worse nightmares, she thought.

“She fainted!” Catra yelled. “I put her by that wall over there!”

“Fainted!?” Glimmer turned to her, fire in her eyes. “What did you do to her!?”

Catra pushed her down in time to avoid a laser beam sent towards them. “She’s by that wall! And now is not the time for more questions, Princess!”

Glimmer did not look happy at all, but Swift Wind took them far above. Catra wondered if Glimmer would just shove her to her death. She decided to focus on ripping off her watch strap.  

And tossed it aside.

Her watched exploded with a boom. Spiders slammed into the columns and blasted into the sky. They grasped onto Swift Wind for dear life, when Catra’s eyes widened. She launched herself of the horse and onto the walls. She bounded off the rock and dodged the broken bits of spider and stone headed her way.

“Catra!” Bow called, as though they had always been best friends. Catra barely heard it, though, as she rolled to the floor roughly.

She got to her feet and dove forwards, just in time to roll Adora away from a rock that barely missed crushing her. And that was when she realized that the rest of the column was going to drop on the wall beside her. She huddled over Adora in a futile attempt to protect her helpless friend from a rocky death.

It never came. Instead, the hall grew quiet.

She opened one eye slowly, heart pounding.

“And you thought a talking horse was just a novelty, didn’t you?” Swift Wind was grinning beside her, but he looked as though it was taking him a lot of effort. Glimmer and Bow were looking above her in shock.

Catra followed their gazes and saw that the column was held in place by some sort of magic. Swift Wind grunted and flicked his head. The crumbling rock flew up and glued together as best it could, reforming into a functioning column. All around them, stone and metal glided back into the walls, as though they were watching time reverse.

“Swift Wind,” Bow whispered in amazement.

“Moving aside the moon, that’s me,” Swift Wind joked through gritted teeth. When the temple restored itself to a cracked form of its original glory, he finally gasped and knelt onto his hooves.

“You did it!” Bow leapt off him and beamed. Glimmer, however, teleported right into Catra’s with faint suspicion.

“Swift Wind, we need to you wake Adora when you’re ready,” Glimmer said with narrowed eyes never leaving Catra. Swift Wind nodded sleepily, taking a moment while Bow stroked his mane.

“I just saved your lives,” Catra protested. “And Adora’s!”

“And that wouldn’t have been necessary if you weren’t trying to kill us all the time,” Glimmer threw her free hands in the air. Despite her words, Catra felt like her original fieriness had been tamed by seeing Adora in her arms. “Why do you think we're here? Swift Wind said Adora was in trouble. And what are you even doing here anyway?”

Catra scoffed. She folded her arms. “Some sort of … hologram popped up, made Adora wink out like a light, then started surrounding us with those spiders.”

“Light Hope?” Glimmer exchanged a puzzled look with Bow and Swift Wind. “But why?”

Catra shrugged, avoiding her gaze. She felt that repeating the dialogue would only work against her. At least they weren’t pointing weapon into her face now.

Glimmer narrowed her eyes at her. “Well, when Adora wakes up we’ll know.”

“I can try now,” Swift Wind said wearily. "Let's go up on that platform." Bow nodded and picked up Adora. Glimmer nudged her and Catra rolled her eyes before following them to the center of the room, where there was a small raised dais. Perhaps it exuded some magic because Swift Wind perked up just a little bit when they were there.

They waited anxiously as the horse touched his horn to her friend’s chest. The two of them glowed with golden light, but then Swift Wind frowned. After a moment, the glow faded and he looked up at them.

“Well, I'm blocked.”

 

* * *

 

 

“I am _telling_ you, I _didn’t knock Adora out._ ”

Glimmer’s energy ball pressed into her face. She wanted to seethe, but she was trapped between Adora’s friends.

“Look,” Bow said cautiously. “The last time this happened, Adora told us you …” He exchanged a look with the other two. “Well. Threw her off a cliff. So I think suspicion is warranted.”

Catra looked down at her feet with a defensive huff. “Yeah. Well. I didn’t throw her off a cliff this time. Trust me. I was … I had a plan to get Hordak out of here, okay?” She rubbed her shoulder, realizing that she needed to let them in on her plot if she wanted their trust. “We were just supposed to get some tech and leave.”

“You want to get rid of Hordak?” Bow inquired.

“Yeah, I –“ Catra glanced at Adora.  “I had a plan.”

“Then why is Adora like that?” Glimmer jabbed a thumb over her shoulder.

“I told you, I don’t know! She was telling me something about how she had an idea and then she just dropped!” Catra protested.

Swift Wind squinted at Catra, and she felt her skin crawl at his gaze.

“Adora told us you didn’t want to leave the Horde,” Bow said, and her brows creased as he crouched in front of her. “So, what are you after now?”

“I …” Oh, so Adora had told them that they were meeting, and they’d supported her in those escapades. Maybe they hoped she wanted to leave the Horde and help them.

“Adora’s always meant a lot to me,” she finally settled for honestly, the kind that she normally would clamp down on. So of course, she couldn’t look them in the eyes. “Lord Hordak is going to fight you until the end. Adora’s never going to be happy unless he’s not a threat anymore. I know that Hordak’s doing things that … have hurt you. And that hurts her, too.”

Bow and Glimmer exchanged a look. “But why don’t you just join us, then?” Glimmer inquired. Her voice had lost all of its hard edge.

“Look I …” Catra met Glimmer’s gaze, met Bow’s gaze, and decided that there was no way that she could explain herself. Not to rebels that had lost something to the Horde. They didn’t understand what it was like to have nothing, to value loyalty because of how scarce it was. To find value in the Horde.

“There are other people in there I’m responsible for. They don't have anywhere to go.”

“Well, we’d let them come with you,” Glimmer crossed her arms.

“Not everyone, Sparkles.” Catra was sorely reminded of this conversation with Adora. And she told them the rest of her plan.

“Hordak will just go and kill whoever he wants in _another planet_?” Glimmer burst furiously, and Catra could see a flash of Adora in her, just at a reckless level of intensity. Looking at Glimmer like this, she could see that the princess was making this accusation because she couldn’t trust Hordak. And she, more clearly now, that Adora had made this argument because she was especially afraid of Catra leaving with him.  

She could see it in the eyes. The differences there.

“I wouldn’t let him do that,” Catra said softly. Her change in tone threw Glimmer off guard but just for a second.

“Your plan,” Glimmer scoffed. “Is crazy.”

“Yeah, well. Crazy was the best plan I had,” Catra muttered. She glanced at Adora sadly and looked back in time to see Glimmer and Bow exchange amused looks. Swift Wind chuckled.

“Sooo, you really do care about her, huh,” Bow smiled, with a knowing look.

“Oh, good,” Catra grumbled and turned away from him. She felt heat flush into her face. “So what did she tell you?”

Bow looked between her and Adora thoughtfully. “That's probably a conversation you should have with her.”

The question that she’d tried to bury in the back of her head re-surfaced with annoying vigour. She wanted to claw at Bow and demand answers to the infuriatingly confusing things that Adora had said earlier – what on Earth had she meant about not being given a chance to talk about her feelings? Would … was there something to talk about?

The thought that there could be, that maybe Adora …

“I-I meant everything I told her,” Catra reverted sharply to a safe emotional distance. “Look, I’m on the inside, and I have the chance to help you. Just let me go, and I’ll be out of your hair.”

Swift Wind looked dubious and asked, “Did Adora _like_ this idea?”

“No, but that’s not surprising,” Catra’s gaze softened when she glanced over, despite her best efforts. “Annoyingly protective … as usual.”

“I have a feeling that Adora is going to kill us if we let her go.” Glimmer muttered into Bow’s ear. With Catra’s hearing, this didn’t go unnoticed. She was starting to convince them of her intentions. “And if we need to take Adora to Mystacor to wake up and tell us everything, it might be too late.”

Bow whimpered. “We’re going to get killed by your mom, _and_ Adora aren’t we?”

She couldn’t help feel a little awed about how much Adora seemed to want her around. It was … nice.  “Just Tell Adora that I’ll say goodbye or something. I came here for what I need.” 

Catra finally pushed herself off the wall and kneeled beside Adora. Her friend’s face was peaceful, content. She reached over to place a hand on the human’s shoulder, wishing she could brush aside her hair, or do _something_ else.

Tears instinctively burned into her eyes, and she closed her eyes briefly, willing her strength back. When she opened her eyes again, she noticed something strange on Adora’s tablet.

“There are people coming,” Catra stood up quickly.

“What are you talking about?” Bow stepped forwards, but Catra pointed at Adora’s tablet. Her heart raced.

Luckily, Bow didn’t any more convincing of an impending problem. “Swift Wind, do you think you can open these doors?”

Unfortunately, Swift Wind couldn’t even take a step towards the wall before there were footsteps into the main hall, along with the sound of stun guns charging.

 

* * *

 

The forest was tranquil. Oddly silent, though. She heard no haunting whispers.

How long had she been walking through these woods? The longer she walked, the less sure she was of where she had come from. Surely, she’d been walking for an eternity.

But the forest road ended. She waded into taller grass and brushed aside leaves, unsure of her direction until she spotted a something up ahead. She peered through the branches and saw stone pillars. 

Adora shouldered through the reaching foliage and emerged onto a stony clearing. Of course. This was where she needed to be.

“Finally.”

A voice from behind her made Adora falter, and she spun around, but all she caught was the movement of a falling twig. She scanned the darkness of the forest, but her eyes couldn’t find anything.  

Suddenly, arms collided into her unwatched side, and Adora toppled with a yelp. She braced herself, trained on instinct so that the wind wasn’t knocked into her. She laughed when she felt her attacker soften into her. “Catra?”

“You made it.” Catra grinned back down at her, and Adora could feel the vibrations of her purring reach her, although Catra was colder than usual. “Pft, finally. You’re late, doofus. I was beginning to think you got lost here.”

“I guess I was … lost for a while.” She had been coming here to meet with Catra. That made sense.

Catra rolled her eyes, but got to her feet and pulled her up. “Well, you found it. Now come on already, you’re going to love this.”

“I … why are we here, exactly?” Adora asked, allowing herself to be pulled along to the center of these ancient stone grounds.

Catra laughed. Her tail grazed against Adora’s wrist lightly, and the blonde almost stumbled over a rock. When they reached the spot that Catra wanted, her friend shrugged off her backpack. She pulled out blankets and settled them onto the floor with a flourish. When she sat down, she looked up at Adora expectantly.

“Ha, wow, all this for me?” Adora grinned, suddenly feeling warmth and nerves in her chest. She felt unprepared and out of sorts, weirdly, even though she was used to Catra pulling surprises on her. Something about this felt different.  

“Yeah, I’m the thoughtful one,” Catra rolled her eyes and settled with her back on the floor. “What a surprise.”

Adora raised an eyebrow but followed suit. She didn’t take her eyes off Catra’s form, curious. Her friend was looking up at the sky, entranced and with such a relaxed expression that for a moment, Adora felt her chest ache. Which puzzled her. Why did this feel so melancholy?

“Uh, can we focus on the stargazing?” Catra chuckled. Adora blinked, abashed.

“Stargazing?” This was unfamiliar to her.

Catra sighed but shuffled close before pointing at the sky. Adora followed her gesture. And gasped.

“Wow.” Adora’s eyes grew wide as she took in the view. Above them, the endless stars. She’d seen something like this before, but … the memory was fuzzy, as though she was searching for it through heavy fog.

The stars were drops of light in a vast ocean … Surely no force, no one, could go up against the endlessness of the stars.

Catra’s muffled laughter beside her was the only thing that could make her tear her eyes away from this hypnotic sight. Her friend was pressed into her shoulder, in a way that made Adora’s skin prickle and her chest buzz.

“Hey knock it off!” Adora nudged her with a tiny smile. “This is the first time I’ve star ... gazed.”

“Yeah, I can tell. You have the dorkiest look on your face,” Catra chuckled and pushed up on an elbow to look down at her.

“Well it was pretty cool,” Adora folded her arms and looked defiantly up at her.

“Mhm,” Catra didn’t seem to be paying attention anymore. Her gaze moved along Adora’s profile before reaching her eyes again.

Adora swallowed, eyes darting away from that intense gaze. She could feel the tension running between them suddenly, but Catra didn’t cut through it with a joke like she could have.

Seizing her courage, Adora peeked back up again. But Catra was already looking back at the stars in deep thought.

 _Catra thinks I’m not feeling the same thing,_ she thought. _She’ll never know unless I tell her._

Adora sat up a little, moving slowly. She brought a hand up to the side of Catra’s cheek and the feline turned back to her in surprise. She took the chance to press their foreheads together.

Catra froze. Then her tail settled gently across Adora’s legs. Her eyes looked between Adora’s.

“Could I … try something?” Adora whispered.

“Go for it,” Catra murmured back, her ears twitching.

Adora tilted her head and kissed her lightly before pulling back and curling back onto the floor. She watched Catra’s gaze, unable to look away. Her heart hammered in her chest.

There.

Catra was utterly shocked for only for a second before she chasing her and kissed her back, as though she was going to disappear any second now.

Adora sighed when Catra’s weight settled on top of her. She could feel Catra’s tail tighten around her shin, her hands grasp her own. Catra purred and the sensation was ticklish, made her laugh, made her heart leap with affection.

There was no going back from here.

Catra was the one that pulled away. She pushed up on her elbows and grinned at Adora with relief. “Geez, took you long enough.”

The human sat up and pulled Catra close to her, pleased when Catra curled in and purred into her neck. Her friend was still cold to the touch, so she held her tightly.

“Y-yeah,” Adora grinned, still unsteady.

“I’ve got to go, Adora,” Catra said quietly. Adora pulled back and looked at her quizzically.

“What do you mean?”

Catra only had a sad, wry smile, as an apology. She disintegrated with a blip right before her, and Adora let her limbs fall back onto the stone floor. Tears burned into her eyes at the loss. She stared up at the stars, so beautiful in this nighttime, but so isolated. So that’s what this was. This was why everything was so cold here. A dream.

No, she could make this real, couldn’t she?

“Adora.” A face loomed over her and blocked the view of the starlight.

“Light Hope …?” Adora rubbed her eyes. Wait … there were memories peering at the edges of her consciousness. “What … what’s going on?” _Catra had a plan to take out the Horde. She was going to help her …_

“Your affections are leading you towards rash decisions,” Light Hope informed her when she pulled herself up. “I brought you here to tell you that you must not let the Horde soldier trick you into giving up access to Eternia.”

“What do you mean by “tricking me”?” Adora frowned.

“You are aware that your friend is still working for Hordak. Yet you believe that she means well. Evidence and history points otherwise.” Light Hope said.

“Then … waaait is this a simulation?” Sweat dripped from her brow. 

Light Hope tilted her head. “My simulations are meant to ensure accuracy based on your own memories and impressions of others. This was meant to be a chance for you to understand how you see your friend.”

“Oh,” Adora’s felt her ears burn. She cleared her throat. “S-so as you obviously … saw,” Adora winced. “Catra isn’t a threat. She cares about me,” Adora said earnestly, trying to fight against the flat and unforgiving stare that Light Hope was sending her. It was disheartening.

“The simulation is what _you_ believe. Once again, history and evidence have pointed otherwise. I am saying this because of what I have seen between you two, which is at clear odds against your impressions.”

“You haven’t seen everything,” Adora said in defiance. She got up to her feet irritably. She didn’t want to argue with Light Hope after all of that. Finally telling Catra how she felt was … nice. Scary, yes, but for once, Adora felt like she’d taken a real stand for what she wanted.  It hurt to know that it wasn’t with the real Catra.  

“That is irrelevant. You opposed your friend’s decision to leave Etheria, did you not?” Ah yes. She had. Adora remembered feeling shocked, betrayed, hurt. Catra wanted to leave, that was part of her plan. She hadn’t liked that idea at all, despite it having some chance of working. The minute she heard what it entailed, she’d shut it down.

“I – I,” Adora gathered a breath before speaking again. “Fine. I didn’t want her to go, okay? But you know what, I didn’t – I didn’t intend to save this planet alone.” Adora pointed at herself. “ _We_ defeated the Horde at the Battle of Brightmoon because all the Princesses came together. There’s more than one person who can save this planet.” She gestured at herself. “And I was going to go!”

“Go?” Light Hope tilted a head.

“I could keep an eye on Hordak,” Adora protested, her teeth chattering in anxiety. “And … It’s Eternia. I feel like I have to go there somehow.” She remembered seizing in on this idea. Perhaps this was the only thing she could do to if she didn’t want to lose Catra.

She remembered everything now.

“Adora, you are a Princess of Etheria. Your priority is to aid in restoring balance to this planet. My simulation is telling you why you have been conflicted in your missions thus far,” Light Hope explained, ever patient. “Once again, this is why you must let go.”

She was about to scramble for another argument until she realized something. “Let go …”

Catra letting go of everything that was holding her tied down here to give Etheria back to Adora.

Resolution filled her chest. If Catra was putting everything she cared about on the line, so was she. The only thing that was stopping her from killing Hordak now was the thought that she would hurt Catra.

But she realized now that if she might never do anything if she was paralyzed by that fear.

She needed to be She-Ra again.

“Light Hope,” Adora said slowly, resolution filled her chest. “Wake me up.”

But Light Hope turned away, as though listening to something from beyond where they were. “Lord Hordak is in the Citadel.”

“What?” Adora’s voice faded into a whisper. 

“Adora,” Light Hope turned to her again. “I must ask. Will you always protect Etheria against the Horde?”

It didn’t take her a second to utter the words, “I will always protect Etheria.”

Light Hope nodded. “I trust you to do your duty.”

 

* * *

 

“Lord Hordak,” Catra bowed her head slightly. She swallowed. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Lord Hordak stepped up into the dais. “We lost your signal, commander. The Woods have changed. Rebel bases were pulled closer to your last location and prudence dictated that we investigate.”

 _What?_ Catra thought with faint confusion. Still, she didn’t ask. The temple had been a long mission for them all. She wasn't completely shocked that Lord Hordak would see it secured himself. 

“This  - isn’t - over,” Glimmer grunted as she was shoved past him. She tried to wiggle out of the magic-binding bonds that Lonnie had bound her in, but it was fruitless. She settled for sending a scathing look towards Catra that said exactly one thing – _If this means you’re betraying us, you_ will _regret it._

“Silence them,” Lord Hordak ordered with a distracted wave of his hand. Glimmer chocked when a cloth was quickly pulled over her mouth. Bow, thankfully, was more compliant. He gave Kyle an affronted look and Kyle gulped before he and Lonnie marched them away.

“Hey, you can’t  -” Swift Wind was silenced when rope tightened over his muzzle. Rogelio tugged him away with more force than necessary, after watching Bow and Kyle’s silent interaction.

With the rebels cleared, Catra turned to see Hordak’s gaze slide from Adora to her.

The commander took an uncertain step back when Scorpia walked towards her. The Force Captain sent Catra an easy smile, and that was reassuring enough to unclench her fists and step aside. Scorpia picked up Adora easily, and Catra’s eyes followed as they moved away.

Right. So she was going to have to play this carefully, now.

Lord Hordak studied the carnage around them.

Spiders littered the room. Smashed rock crumbled from the newly bound columns. Uprooted wires were still frazzling out. The temple looked like Entrapta’s lab crossed with a battlefield.

“Care to explain what happened here, commander?” Lord Hordak asked lightly.

So Catra told him.

And if Adora’s friends sent betrayed expressions while she explained, so be it. Nothing mattered more than fulfilling her plans.

“Whatever that hologram was,” Catra finished, “It sure looked like it couldn’t appear for longer than a few minutes. I don’t know what it is, but it didn’t come back when we were fighting its security bots. It hasn’t been back yet, either.”

“I see.”

“This is incredible!” Entrapta popped out from half-way up one of the columns. “What an excellent opportunity to test my device’s functions! We could do it now!”

Both Bow and Glimmer’s eyes widened at her entrance, but she paid them no mind. Entrapta leapt down and clapped her hands. Emily peeked out from behind her pillar and joined her shyly. The two walked up to the dais, and Entrapta waved a piece of First One’s tech at them.

Catra released a slow breath through her nose.

_If something happens with Lord Hordak tonight, bring the device._

“This entire temple is brimming with energy!” Entrapta sighed happily. “Oh, boy I’m learning so much about what this place is already! It’s creating its own energy field! No wonder I couldn’t track it before …”

Lord Hordak turned to Catra. “Then I suppose now is as good a time as any to explain to me what your device _does_.”

“Well,” Entrapta started eagerly. “It –“

“I meant from the Commander,” Lord Hordak raised a hand to halt Entrapta’s emerging tirade. “And spare me the details. I’ve been waiting for this day – to end our struggles in this backwards planet and march onwards. I know you will deliver.”

Catra nodded slowly, thinking fast. There was no more waiting anymore, then. This was the moment of truth, quite literally.

“Our device isn’t a weapon. It’s a portal.”

The rebels and the Horde squadron stared up at them. Catra could hear them hold still. Watch.

“To Eternia.” Catra continued and bowed her head towards the ground. “Where our fight belongs. Where you want to be.”

Catra felt the air grow chill.

Then suddenly, there was the sound of boots on the floor, moving towards her.

When she felt Lord Hordak stop in front of her and lean down, she forced herself to be still. His mouth drew close by her ear and she struggled not to twitch or betray any indication of nervousness. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, his words came in a murmur.

“ _You_ want to stop fighting the rebellion.”

Catra swallowed.

She responded in a low voice, continuing their now private conversation. “I go there first. I scout and find out what we need to know to conquer the castle.”  She paused, before continuing. “You’re right  - I don’t want to fight the rebellion. I want us to go to Eternia. Lord Hordak, you asked me what I wanted, and I told you the truth. That hasn’t changed.”

Lord Hordak kept still. Finally, he leaned back, and Catra plucked up the courage to raise her eyes to his. There was a calculating look there, as though he didn’t know what to think of her move on the gameboard. As though he was unsure about whether this was a threat or not.

“Trust me,” Catra kept his gaze. She kept her words slow, deliberate. “I have never lied to you.”

His eyes flickered between her and the rebels.

“You wish to go to Eternia _to avoid_ fighting the Rebellion,” His words weren’t a question, and Catra could see Entrapta shivering a few paces away from them. “There is a difference in intention. An important one, in fact.”

Catra took a courageous step forward. “My motivations don’t matter. I’m delivering on my promise to get us to Eternia. Will you take it?”

“You make clever promises, commander.” Lord Hordak tilted his head. For the first time, his voice dipped dangerously, and Catra’s ears buzzed. “And what … of the fact that we are at _war_?”

Despite the chill in the air and the fact that her fur was starting to rise from the cold, she let a small smirk grace her face and project all the confidence she didn’t feel. “Adora.”

“Ah. She-Ra.” Lord Hordak drawled. “Of course.”

“Why else did she bring me here?” Catra circled around him, just for a chance to move her anxious limbs. “She trusts me. The Rebellion doesn’t want to lose more people in the war. They want peace. Lord Hordak, we’re powerful enough with Entrapta on our side. The only reason we can’t win Etheria is because of She-Ra. So I say … keep She-Ra on our side. And as you know, she’s on mine.”

Hordak stared at her with a flat expression.

The ensuing silence stretched. Her throat itched to swallow, but she held Lord Hordak’s smouldering eyes instead. She could fell the others in the room fidget.

“Then,” Lord Hordak started slowly, and Catra tried to calm her heart. “Well done, commander.”

Catra’s jaw slacked.

“The floor is in your hands. Let us work for our mutual benefits,” He said loudly enough to have the others hear and Catra felt instinctively uneasy.

Whenever she won a tough verbal spar with Shadow Weaver, the witch pulled one up over her. Catra didn’t count her wins until they were wins, these days.

“Very well done,” Hordak said, quieter, before turning away towards Entrapta and only she caught what he said. Catra blinked in a daze. She glanced at her squad. Scorpia gave her a thumbs up.

Was this really happening?

The feline cleared her throat, scratching past the cold air. “Right, uh, Entrapta, if you would –“

And that’s when the temple finally went silent.

The hum and the whir of mechanics in the temple vanished. They noticed it together  - the fogginess of their breaths. Lord Hordak turned back to her with puzzled eyes.

It occurred to Catra that she’d never experienced the quiet. The Fright Zone didn’t have a silent night. The hum of machinery had never comforted her, but the snores of her friends did. And in the Whispering Woods, the night was alight with bugs and monsters. Skiffs were loud in the air. The ocean bore waves.

This was quiet, finally. True quiet.

“Hm,” Entrapta gulped and looked up from Emily.  Her robot had shut off. “There might be more to this energy field than I thought.”

And then the lights went out.

As people gasped, Catra looked up to see glowing blue runes etched along the walls of the hall. She took a rapid scan around her, claws unsheathing.

“Hey, it’s glowing!” Lonnie shouted. Everyone turned towards her and saw her pointing at Kyle. Adora’s Sword was in his arms, glowing. Kyle’s whimpered, not daring to drop it.

“Hello, Lord Hordak.”

Everyone snapped their attention back towards the dais. Everyone except Lord Hordak, who stood still.

It was the hologram again.

 

* * *

 

“I am Light Hope, She-Ra’s guide.” It spoke politely, despite Hordak’s refusal to face her. “And I am afraid I cannot let you leave. You are the greatest living threat to Etheria, and now, Eternia. However, you are the only one I require to be contained in this temple. I would exterminate you, but security has been compromised. Therefore, in the best interests of both Eternia and Etheria, I must hold everyone inside.”

Catra grit her teeth and resisted the urge to tear the hologram down. But she knew an outright attack wouldn’t work. 

“I have removed the ability to use technology or magic within this temple. You cannot escape.” Light Hope added, with a pointed look towards Catra’s squadron. Lonnie was holding a gun up. The human Horde soldier growled and pulled the trigger. Nothing came from the other end. Lonnie lowered her gun in shock.

“Fascinating …” Entrapta murmured.

Catra glanced at Glimmer and saw that the princess’s face was pale. If she was trying to teleport, it wasn’t working either.

“If you prefer not to suffer a long and slow death, Lord Hordak, you may surrender and walk down that hallway.” Light Hope gestured towards an open door down the far end of the main room.

Without anything further to say, Light Hope waited, though her form was already starting to fade. No one saw Adora twitch by Kyle’s feet.

Lord Hordak didn’t move, but from this angle, Catra could see his face tightening in deep thought. He kept his eyes on the rebellion, and Catra feared what he would do. She turned to Light Hope angrily, desperately.

“You were going to kill me just to save Adora!” Catra spat at Light Hope. “And now you’re just going to kill her and all your other heroes? Just for Lord Hordak? What does that say about you?”

“That is incorrect, Catra of the Horde,” Light Hope said calmly. “I put Adora to sleep to prevent her from aiding in your plot to capture Eternia for the Horde,” Catra growled and didn’t notice Hordak turn to her in surprise. The rebels protested angrily, no doubt displeased at what they were hearing.

“Ugh, what do you even know about Eternia anyway?” Catra pressed, trying to look for an angle to this irritating new development. There was one card left that she hadn’t yet played but she had little hope it would work.  

“I have not had contact with Eternia for many years,” Light Hope admitted.

“You don’t know that it's being ruled by a tyrant?” Catra said in a bored voice, “The Horde might the best chance you get at taking them down.” She heard Lord Hordak step down from the dais, and she tried not to betray her fear. She examined her nails.

Lord Hordak chuckled softly. “Arguing on that point won’t work, Commander. This guardian sees only good and evil. To her, we are just the same vermin fighting for the same claim.” He walked towards Kyle, who gulped as his approached. The Sword of Protection was still glowing in his arms. “The Throne of Castle Grayskull …”

“Correct.” Light Hope said calmly. “I watched your banishment from far away, myself.”

Lord Hordak was surprised at her words, hesitated for just a second. Which was when Adora’s eyes snapped open. The human lunged for Kyle and grabbed the sword, thrusting it into the air.

“For the Honour of Grayskull!”

There was a boom, and a flash of light, so bright that everyone had to throw their hands in front of their faces. A burst of magic erupted from her, throwing all the Horde members back onto the dais.

When the light faded, She-Ra stood before them. Her hair billowed despite the still air, and her eyes flashed like a spectre of judgement.  Catra let out a slow breath, not sure whether she was relieved or disappointed.

Bow, Glimmer, and Swift Wind’s emerged behind her, their bindings now broken. The rebels grinned at each other and cracked their bones.

“I’m more than ready to take you on,” Glimmer shot to the Horde members who were struggling to stand again. She clenched her fists together in a fighting stance.

“Try us,” Bow pulled back a non-techy arrow with its aim at Lord Hordak.

Catra resisted the urge to facepalm.

“Princess, you have no weapons,” Scorpia adopted a fighting pose that was a lot more terrifying than Glimmer’s. “Just thought I’d tell you that in case we start fighting. Which, personally, I think is a terrible idea.”

“Stop,” She-Ra commanded, and her steel blue eyes locked onto Lord Hordak. “For better or worse, you’re the only one we need here.” Catra’s brows creased as she watched this development. Despite it all, her heart raced a little faster to see that look of determined steel in her eyes. Even if they were She-Ra’s eyes and not Adora’s.

“She-Ra,” Lord Hordak got back to his feet irritably. “Traitor to your own friends, and slave to the First Ones. I suppose you see the _light_ , now?”

“Don’t,” She-Ra growled, and her eyes flashed. “You’ve been ruining the lives of Etherians, unprovoked. I have no choice but to demand that you give yourself up before you hurt anyone else. We don’t have to fight.” Her eyes went over to Catra briefly. _I’m sorry,_ she seemed to say at that moment. Catra took a wary step forward.

Hordak breathed in deeply through his nose. His hand was on his sword hilt, one of the treasures she had seen in his wall back at the Fright Zone. His face, unreadable.

Subterfuge, Catra thought with dread. Her ears drooped as she glanced between the two giants locked tensely before her.

Subterfuge was the name of the game that nearly everyone in the Fright Zone played. Shadow Weaver had played it better than anyone else she knew back then. Sometimes the cadets tried to play it too, but the gossip mills usually turned against Catra.

But Catra had learned to play. When Adora became her best friend, she had seized the chance to turn the tables against her former adversaries. She had to.

Adora was the only powerful cadet she knew who had never played that game. At all. It was obvious that the human didn’t know these games existed. She obviously didn’t need it. She watched Adora now, setting her mouth in as hard a line as her resolution to uphold justice.

But Lord Hordak was the ultimate master of the gameboard. She knew he moved among the shadows and watched every move slid into place as expected.

But only now, when she saw his fists close around a sword hilt to attack Adora, did she know that everything that had happened before had only been this game, played between them. It was why she couldn’t truly trust his praises or why he shrugged away her feelings for Adora. Shadow Weaver would have just stripped her rank if she was in Lord Hordak’s place.

All of those ‘hidden lessons’ … meaningless. Hordak cared about his ascension to power, he cared about rooting out backstabbers. He cared about being the ultimate arbiter of justice. His word, law. It was always about power to him, no matter what. Gaining it, keeping it, it didn’t matter anymore.

She was on the wrong side of the war.

Thinking that thought was the final straw.

The chasm in her heart that said she wasn’t worthy broke open. Ignoring the voice that jabbered these thoughts only did so much, after all. Because that voice always whispered, was always there. She had really defeated it. 

 _I’m wrong._ Catra thought with sinking clarity. _I’m never enough. For her. For him. Not now, not ever._

She watched as Lord Hordak’s jaw clenched, and She-Ra tightened the grip on her own glowing sword. One of them was just, her truest friend. The other was never going to be a … father. Just like Shadow Weaver had never been her mother. It never mattered how hard she tried, or how far she got. 

Her plans were unfolding. And they were mad plans. Why had she ever considered getting Hordak to Eternia? He had bred the so-called tyrant there on Eternia himself. And now, her worst fears were materializing.

Hordak and She-Ra were going to fight.

Lord Hordak’s nose flared. He glanced to the side, towards Catra.

Then he released his sword hilt and it felt back into his baldric with a soft thud. He closed his eyes.

“Very well. I accept.”

 

* * *

 

She-Ra’s sword-grip faltered, but nothing came close to the shock that slammed into Catra like a tidal wave. The tunnelling thoughts that were running through her mind stopped.

Reversed.

“Hordak,” Light Hope reappeared. She gestured towards the open door. “Please proceed.”

“No.” Catra found her voice.

Everything moved in slow motion for the Horde commander. She stepped between Hordak and She-Ra. Looked up in challenge at her best friend. She saw She-Ra’s eyes flicker and deepen into that familiar blue of Adora’s.

“Catra …” She-Ra lowered her sword. Uncertainty entered the Princess’s gaze, and Catra forced herself to turn away. She looked at Light Hope instead. It was time for her last card.

“We need Hordak to have any chance of escaping Despondos,” she finally said.

“I do not follow.” Light Hope responded quizzically. Catra allowed a beat of silence before continuing.

“Etheria used to exist out there with the rest of the universe.” Catra, gesturing upwards, at the pulsing blue runes. “But the universe belongs to the Horde, doesn’t it?”

“According to my last records, the Horde were indeed the masters of the Universe.” Light Hope acquiesced.

“So, we’re safe then. Protected from the Horde …” She trailed off pointedly.

“Etheria is not protected from the Horde,” Light Hope corrected her. “You yourself are a Horde soldier.”

“Once you kill Lord Hordak, the Horde is finished here, forever,” Catra said carefully. “But what happens to Etheria?”

“Peace,” She-Ra was the one who spoke this time. She watched Catra carefully. “Balance. I have to bring balance as She-Ra.” _I’m doing this because I have no choice Catra. But I trust you._ It wasn’t hard to hear the subtext in Adora’s words.

And the thing was, Catra knew it. There was a thread of trust between them now, and Adora was waiting for her lead. It calmed her a little to know that.

“So Etheria’s peaceful again,” Catra spoke to She-Ra this time. “That doesn’t stop the Horde being out there with the rest of the universe while we’re here. They’re taking over entire planets. Face it, Adora, going to Despondos protected Etheria. What if we get more visitors?” _Then let me offer you something else._

“That is not possible,” Light Hope said. “After Lord Hordak’s exile to this planet, I enacted greater shields around entry to this dimension.”

She-Ra’s eyes widened a little, as though realizing something. She levelled her gaze towards Light Hope. “Mara … and you …” she whispered.

Light Hope hesitated, for the first time.

“Then, leaving Despondos means returning to a universe ruled by the Horde,” Catra angled her argument around, thinking too fast to see the silent exchange between Adora and Light Hope. “Etheria will fall unless we play the Horde at its own game. Keep Hordak and make them think the Horde won the planet. Don’t you want the universe to be free of the Horde? We can’t run forever.” _Let’s work together again._

“ _Hordak_ is our _saviour_ now?” Glimmer growled from the side. Bow placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her march, but his eyes tightened in suspicion too. “This is insane!”

Catra glanced back at Lord Hordak for something, but his eyes were still closed. He looked like he was far away.

“I know you’re doing this to save Hordak, Catra,” Adora said carefully. “But a lot of people were hurt by the Horde. The people of Etheria need a reason to believe that Hordak wouldn’t harm anyone else if he’s allowed to live.” _Give me a better reason. We can make this work._

“Surrender,” the answer came suddenly, from Light Hope. “Surrender everything and bind yourself to me.”

Catra held her breath and turned to the leader of the Horde. But when Hordak opened his eyes, they burned. “I _refuse_.”

“And this is why we can’t trust him,” Glimmer grumbled sarcastically.

“You expect me,” Lord Hordak said with shimmering rage directed towards Light Hope. “To give up my freedom when you don’t hesitate to bring ruin to your own hero if it means my death? You’ve played your game well enough already. Do not take me for a greater fool.”

Adora looked away. Light Hope didn’t say anything.

Lord Hordak sneered. He turned and strode down the dais.

Catra felt as though he had burned a hole in her chest, with just that rejection. And as she watched his retreating back, she wondered if this was what could have been her own future. This leader, so bitterly set on one goal that he would give up everything else that made life worthwhile. No compromises.

“Hordak,” Catra said one last time before he reached the door. Her voice halted him, he turned to the side. “What do you want?” she asked.

She saw Lord Hordak’s shoulders rise and fall as he took a slow, deep breath. His hands shook.

“You wanted to sit on the throne of Castle Grayskull all those days ago,” She feigned concern. It hurt to cut at him like this. And she hoped that her words were stabbing through his damned armour. “I used to think it was something meaningful. But it isn’t.”

“Oh?” Lord Hordak said with quiet fury.

“You sit on a throne. Then what? You do _nothing_. You’re walking away … for nothing.”

“I walk away for _everything_ ,” Lord Hordak’s voice rattled with barely constrained rage, and before Catra could think of what to say next, he ducked under the door.

His cape billowed behind him in the cold temple air and was the last thing she saw.

 

They waited in the main room of the temple for what felt like ages. The rebels on one side and the Horde on the other.

Catra sat next to Scorpia, who was soothing her back.

“Can’t believe that just h-happened,” Lonnie said, her teeth chattering. “He just gave himself up. He didn’t even want to fight? I mean, what was that?” Scorpia placed her other arm over Lonnie and the girl sighed from the warmth.

“Yeah,” Catra said under her breath.

Rogelio signed, morosely. _The Horde is finished. We will be taken by the Rebellion._

Everyone fell silent. Catra felt eyes on the back of her head, and she turned around.  Entrapta had wandered over to Glimmer and Bow, who were now talking with her. Although Adora was with them, she wasn’t paying attention. She sat on the short steps to the dais and looked directly at her. The human straightened her back at being caught but didn’t break the gaze.

Neither did Catra, though she gulped. Even now, that gaze made her heart beat just a little faster. What had Adora even wanted to do, just before she collapsed? _I have an idea  …_ unless this was Adora’s idea. She didn't know. Somehow, that just didn't fit. All of this was someone else's ideal world. 

She wondered what would happen now. The Rebellion winning meant peace, surely. She didn't know what would happen to them, with all the grief they'd caused for the Rebellion. At least … at least Adora was okay.

Calm spread through her at that. She'd done everything she could do, mad plans and all. There was nothing else left. She offered Adora a half-smile and Adora’s face softened. Apologies were there behind her eyes, for everything that would happen now that the Rebellion were victors. And that was what made Catra finally turn away. She was so tired of apologies between them.

She didn’t see Adora bite her lip and raise a hand as though trying to stop her from looking away. Reaching a decision, Adora turned to excuse herself from her friends but halted. The fog was no longer there with her exhales.

Catra glanced up curiously when the light faded into the room. All around them, blue runes dwindled away alongside the darkness.

So it was over, Catra thought. He was finally finished.

“H-hey!” Kyle spoke up. He pointed a shaky finger over Catra’s shoulder, and they all swivelled around to where he was looking.  

A large shadow crept into the main room from the hallway that Hordak had walked through.

A dark boot landed on the temple floor. Everyone scrambled to their feet and watched with bated breath.

And they saw, from the shin guards to the shoulder chest plate, First Ones runes snake and glitter across familiar armour. A head ducked from the door and emerged in the full light.

Hordak.

He took a depth breath and finally opened his eyes. They gasped. Blue fire, not red, blazed in his eyes.

“A truce …” Hordak voice rumbled though he had aged by eons. “A truce must be given with the Horde, Princess of Bright Moon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and getting this far (:


End file.
